this pregnancy is kicking my ass

I know... what language! But really, anything more PG (actually, I'm pretty sure "ass" is PG these days) would fail to express how awful these last three weeks have been.

So, a few things:

• Although nine weeks pregnant yesterday, it's only been the last three weeks and a bit that have been this miserable. In those last three weeks, I've lost almost eight pounds. And while I haven't seen the scale move that low since sometime in 2001, constant nausea and vomiting are not pleasant weight loss methods. Effective, but not pleasant.

• In those last three weeks, I've only left the house three times. All three times were for parties or other events that I knew my boys were excited about and I didn't want them to have to miss. It was only by sheer FORCE OF LOVE that I managed these feats. LOVE.

• Once in a while I'll have a stretch of two days where I'm only sick once, then the next day I'll throw up twice in as many hours. There is no rhyme or reason. No link to certain foods that I can see. It's random. Being the control freak that I am, I'd love to have a plan or theory or some sort of equation to follow, but I don't. 

• The waist band on my pants (even loose pj bottoms) is starting to get uncomfortable. Not tight (see the above mentioned weight loss), just conspicuous by their presence. I just don't want ANYTHING touching my stomach.

• Related: Any tips on how to keep three boys from trying to constantly climb on me, hug me, and sit on my lap (note, lap is near stomach)?? I love their love, but would prefer they write me a poem or send flowers or something.

• This intense morning sickness has even had me wonder about the possibility of twins... a possibility that I have yet to bring up with Peter (hi, hon!) for fear he might suffer an aneurysm. The only thing saving my sanity is that fact that, weight loss notwithstanding, I'm pretty sure I'd be showing already if I was 9w+ with twins. Right? RIGHT?? Cause I'm not. Not showing at all. So it can't be twins. Right.

• I've been dreaming of steak. Specifically of eating it.

I'm not sure that this post really has a point, other than to whine and complain and make excuses for why I haven't blogged much at all this last month. Maybe it will also serve as a BRUTAL REMINDER if I ever start to get that urge for another baby. Cause seriously? I'm not sure I could do this again.