Saturday, September 5, 2009

thinking I might need to clarify

Reading through some of the comments and emails I've gotten after posting the email we received from Peter's dad, I think some clarification is needed. 

I posted his email because, while reading through old correspondence from that period of our life in order to write Nathaniel's story, I was struck by this particular email from him (one of many). I was truly touched by it.
When I read his words with the added perspective that only time can bring, I don't see a challenge or admonition -which is how I fear some of you took his email- but rather an attempt by a grieving father and grandfather to make some sense of a senseless situation and to try to offer some (any!) comfort to us, his children. 

I'm afraid that some of you read his email and felt it cold or harsh, when I know that's so completely not the case. When I first read it, I might've rolled my eyes and was likely a bit angry (NOT at my father-in-law, but at the God who I felt was, if not responsible for our son's sickness then at least unwilling to do anything to change it). I KNOW  I cried. While I'm sure I recognized the Truth of his words when I initially read them four years ago, my heart was so broken that I couldn't see passed my own suffering enough to find any comfort there.

When I read it again, last week, I read the words of man who was hurting -hurting for us AND with us- and who was confused and grieving, but who was also hopeful and trusting and who was holding fast to God's faithfulness. I'm sure that this second reading produced the effect that was desired when the words were originally written... I was encouraged and comforted and reminded of not only my father-in-laws love, but of my Heavenly Father's love.

God did not promise a life without pain, yet He will not waste our suffering.

He is totally worthy.

If you haven't already, go back and read the email in question. Read it afresh, with a bit softer heart and with a bit of background knowledge about that time and place. Hopefully you will find yourself as blessed by the words as I was... that's why I posted it!

(Related: I have a wonderful father-in-law.)


  1. It is interesting actually, that when I went through my miscarriage, my dad said to me 'why you? Why does so-and-so have a healthy pregnancy, and not you?', mainly because I was married and so-and-so was not. Why would God allow that? I told him it was because He was going to use it to bless me somehow, to make me grow (isn't it in Corinthians where it says He will not give us what we cannot handle without Him?). The death of a child hurts... not just the parents, but the grandparents, friends, everyone involved. And our emotions can do crazy things. I think your father in law was a very wise man to write the things he did... showing you his hurt and feeling of the situation all the while revealing God's work in his own life through the storm.

    Again, thank you for posting that letter. :)

  2. Thanks for sharing this special letter. Love ya, A. Dianne


Comments satisfy my need for validation. LEAVE ONE!