I needed to buy something to wear to the wedding I photographed last weekend. I needed something that wouldn't bunch or pull or ride up, and something that I could squat, kneel, and bend in without worrying about exposing too much skin or other fleshy bits. It had to be comfortable in order to concentrate on my job and not worry about too low a cut shirt or pants that expose one of my least favorite cracks. Oh, and I had to be able to nurse in it too. Should've been easy, eh?
I did end up finding a cute-ish dress to wear (with leggings) that worked really well. The main problem I had while shopping wasn't so much related to style of clothing, but finding the right size. Not only has the sizing of clothes changed since I last shopped on a regular basis THREE PREGNANCIES AGO, but when I did last shop, I was a different size. In my head, while shopping, I'm still that size.
Not much can ruin that fun little shopping high as quickly as realizing that ALL NINE items you've taken to the change room with you are too small. You immediately forget how proud you were of the 6.5lbs you lost over the last few weeks when still can't fit into clothes you thought you'd be able to.
I don't even understand it myself.. I know that I'm heavier than I'd like to be and than I think is healthy for me, so WHAT PART OF MY BRAIN thinks I can still fit into a size 6?? Why don't I start at, say, size 12 and work my way down, feeling good about myself? Is it that I think, even with the weight I want to lose, that I look better than I actually do?
Am I like those parents who blindly can't see (or don't chose to admit) that their cherubs are actually rude, badly behaved little monsters? Someone who thinks they can sing when they can't? Thinks they're funny when they aren't? Anyone who's idea of themselves differs greatly from reality? Am I like that??
Am I afraid to admit that the problem is worse than I currently believe? Or do I chose sizes that are too small because I'm an optimist? And because I dare to hope that I'll be