more lazy talk

Yesterday at church, our pastor called everyone to the front of the sanctuary. I could go into a five point sermon here, but will simply say that he wanted us all to pray together - for ourselves, for each other, and specifically for our city and the province of Quebec.

As Peter and I knelt there along with everyone else, I realized that I wasn't praying. I was waiting for Pastor Martin or someone else to pray.

Is it that, after so many years of asking and having those close to me pray FOR me, I've just gotten lazy (I use that word a lot around here, eh)? Or has the pain that lead to me needing prayer in the first place made it too difficult to pray? It's not that I don't believe in God, and in His existence. I think it comes down to me not trusting Him.

You might be wondering how I can believe in God, but not find Him trustworthy? Well, He's let me down too many times.

I'm not exactly sure where I'm going with this...

Last week, Sara shared her testimony (or birth story, an idea that I love) over at her blog. It got me wondering when was the last time I'd sat down at wrote my story.

It's been a while.

Years.

LOTS has happened.

So I've decided to give myself a bit of homework. I'm going to write out my story. All of it. The good and the bad (there's loads of both). I'm also going to volunteer to share at one of the next women's breakfasts at our church.

I'll share it here too... maybe.

Yikes.

Don't expect anything today or even this week. I'm sure this bit of homework will take a bit out of me to write and, in my attempts to make it perfect, will take several edits and revisions.

I'll keep you posted.