this day was a mess. both literally and figuratively.

I'm in the midst of one of those nights that makes me question what the heck I'm doing bringing another child into this family...

I was already in a bit of a mood when the boys got home from school as I'd spent the afternoon searching our apartment for our hasn't-been-used-in-seven-months cheque book. The sale of our house closes in just over a month (very good!) and we have some relatively important crucial cheques to write... and no cheques (very bad). 

I made the boys a plate of pineapple, pretzels, a bit of dry cereal (and a marshmallow) as their after school snack... which was in addition to the granola bar they'd each eaten on their 45 minute bus ride home. Even though it was a sufficient snack and they were assured several times that dinner was in just over an hour, I heard nothing but whining for more food. 

Liam got send to his room when he refused to listen to reason and be content.

Simon and Andrew fought almost non-stop from the moment the older boys got home... except when Simon was laughing at Andrew drawing all over the (thankfully closed) Macbook with Crayola markers.

While I was cleaning the laptop before Peter had the chance to see it, Andrew lined up all the cars out in the living room. Simon messed them up. After abandoning the cars to Simon for a bit, Andrew returned only to start picking up the cars and throwing them down the hall. Simon freaked out and stood in the middle of the hall screaming "NOOOOOOOO!" at the top of his lungs, then picked up one of the (metal) cars in his fist and ran at Andrew to try to punch him repeatedly in the head. Luckily I was right there to block his blows. Luckily.

(I'm sure the little old lady living below loves us...)

Liam came out of his room and proceeded to follow me around the kitchen while I was starting supper complaining about how bored he was and that HE NEEDS the computer or wii (only allowed on the weekends). All of my suggestions to play Lego or listen to Adventures in Odyssey or draw or paint or colour were all met with even more whining, and he ended up stomping off loudly screaming.

Meanwhile, Simon and Andrew had made up enough to decide to build "a fort" while I was busy getting supper ready and cleaning our disaster of a kitchen (yes, we have a maid, and yes, she comes tomorrow, but I'd feel like we were seriously taking advantage of her to make her clean that mess!). Their idea of "a fort" apparently meant taking our smallish hockey nets, pushing them up against the front door, and filling them with every toy/piece of clothing/bag/paper/coat/shoe/boot/etc they could find nearby. This included emptying all six drawers in the dresser we keep by the front door AND dumping in a double set of LeapFrog fridge magnet letters. Among other things.

I'm not sure if it was before or after the "fort" making that Andrew decided to shake the entire contents of a full sippy cup all over the living room.

While Simon sat and watched.

And laughed.

And probably egged him on.

During supper (which no one liked), Andrew got down from his highchair (while I'd gotten up to answer a call from Peter), got himself a cup of water and then decided to jump up and down while holding it. As you can imagine, not much water stayed IN the cup. Then he repeatedly threw his pasta across the table at Simon instead of eating it.

After supper, Liam kept complaining that he was hungry so I relented and let him make some toast. I was too tired to fight anymore. 

AND while I was in the kitchen rinsing the supper dishes, Simon came in to inform me that Andrew had spilled his potty all over the family room floor. AND because I'd been busy all afternoon looking for that &*%#! cheque book, said potty hadn't been empty in, um, awhile. AND sweet little Andrew had not "spilled" his potty, he'd somehow sprayed/splashed/flicked all the lovely contents (thankfully all liquid, but still) ALL. OVER. the floor, walls, carpet, couch, end tables, nearby books and an unfortunate game of "Trouble" (thank you, I see the irony).

All while his two older brothers sat right there and did nothing.

I lost it.

I yelled at Simon for standing there right in the middle of the mess all over the floor and tracking it through the rest of the house.

I yelled at Liam for sitting on the couch and not noticing/doing nothing to stop something that clearly took several minutes to accomplish.

And I spanked Andrew.

I spanked him.

He turned two this last January and had never been spanked. To say he was shocked would not be an adequate description. He started crying and I didn't even comfort him. I just stomped out of the room to get the mop and figure out how to tackle the mess. And after mopping a path to the door I snapped at all three boys to get to their rooms and get in bed.

Now I sit here still seething about how awful the afternoon went AND feeling like the worst mother ever. I hate when my kids fight. I hate when I lose it and yell at them. I hate feeling angry and stressed and annoyed the entire afternoon/evening when we only get a few precious hours together each day. I hate that I spanked Andrew... even though he knew it was wrong, the whole situation wouldn't have happened if I hadn't been too busy/preoccupied to empty the potty and had been paying more attention to them all.

But if I can't even attend to the three of them, how on earth will I function with a fourth?! 

One of the things that's making me feel even more crummy about all this is that I'd just read the following earlier in the afternoon and found it so poignant:

Ugh.

I just want to cry reading that again.

So while I go crawl into bed with each of my boys and try to somehow salvage at least a few minutes with each of them, I'll leave you with another quote I read last week...

Courage doesn't always roar.

Sometimes courage is the quiet 

voice at the end of the day saying, 

"I will try again tomorrow."

So here's to a (hopefully) better tomorrow.

a genius had part in designing this park

Did I mention how gorgeous it was here in Bogota over the weekend? No? Well, it was GORGEOUS. 

Sunday, we took advantage of the sunshine and went for a walk to the park before lunch. This particular park is only a few blocks away and some ingenious person put a coffee shop RIGHT IN THE PARK. Not near the park, not across the street from the park. Right. In. The. Park. Mere feet from the swings and merry-go-round.

And it's good coffee too. Akin to having a Starbucks or Tim Horton's RIGHT IN THE PARK. 

Ingenious.

I have something new to look forward to every time I point the camera in Liam's direction. We're not sure if he learned it at school or from one of the cartoons down here, but he's constantly making what I'll refer to as the "rock on" sign (is there an actual name for it??). See exhibits A, B and C below.

This tree was a fun discovery on our way to the park. Lots of thick, strong branches that started right near the ground. Not too high, but with many climbing options.

Even Andrew could get into without help... and he still smiles for the camera!

When we got to the park, Simon immediately raced to the slide, climbed the ladder and proceeded to stand at the top of said slide, backwards. You'll see in later pictures that this is a HIGH slide. While I normally give my boys pretty free range and the park, this particular stunt almost resulted in Simon spending the entire time on the bench instead of playing. A definite you'll-fall-and-crack-your-head-open scenario, with absolutely no exaggeration.

After a brief swing (an excuse to get our kids off the slide so as not to hurt the little girl who also wanted a turn), it was back to the slide. This time the boys convinced Peter to join them. And if any of you are hoping to see my seventh-month-of-pregnancy self up on that slide, sorry to disappoint.

Since going down the giant slide feet first is so safe boring, the boys decided to mix things up a bit. And yes, Liam, rock on indeed.

A less than natural smile, but no jazz/rock hands or tongue sticking out. I'll take it.

Andrew had no idea what he was getting himself into here...

Liam and Simon would go down first, then wait for Andrew to come crashing into them.

The merry-go-round at the park makes Liam sick, but Simon adores it. Especially when daddy pushes. Here,

me: Peter, slow down!

Simon: Faster, daddy! Faster!

And then all three boys on one side of the teeter totter with daddy on the other. As close to even as they're going to get. Again, I chose to remain behind my camera, safe and humiliation-free.

a walk and a reminder

We had such a gorgeous weekend here in Bogota. After rain, rain and more rain, we had an almost four day reprieve starting Thursday afternoon. Friday was perfect, Saturday and Sunday were wonderfully hot and sunny, and although the ground was wet when we woke Monday morning, the day was really lovely. 

When Andrew woke from his nap, the sun was steaming in the windows, so I decided to take advantage of the weather and head out for a quick walk before the school bus showed up.

A block from our place, there's a giant stone medallion. I'd never really stopped to look at it before yesterday. I couldn't read the stone plaque that accompanied it... it was half sunk into the ground and was written in either spanish or latin... which are essentially the same to me! Andrew thought it was great fun to make faces at me through the hole.

I know I should've backed up so you could see the full size of the stone. Sorry. But give me a break. I'm in my seventh month of pregnancy, was squatting down already, and didn't feel like backwards duck walking up the steep slope I was on (ie, I'm pregnant and lazy).

These next pictures were all taken down a little walkway next to an apartment complex that Andrew and I discovered a few weeks ago, on another walk. It's cool and shaded and quiet and is full of neat green plants and beautiful flowers. And at the very back of the walk, Andrew can peak through the fence to see one of the rivers that runs down the mountain into Bogota.

IS MY FACE REALLY THIS BIG?? 

Although our walk lasted less than an hour, I'm so glad we went. The neighbourhood around our place is really beautiful and there are so many areas that we haven't yet explored. Andrew loves waving to all the guards/gardeners/maids/drivers, pointing out all the dogs and motorbikes he sees, smelling flowers, jumping off curbs and over cracks, climbing on rocks and low stone walls... he takes such joy in the little things that I either don't notice, take for granted, or even consider a nuisance. 

Now that I'm feeling better, I hope to get out much more often with him for these little walks. He enjoys it so much, it's great exercise for us both (have I mentioned all the hills around our place and the fact that we're at over 9000 feet??), and I love spending that time with youngest -and last- little boy.

he said, he said

Tuesday morning, both boys' classes went on a field trip to and eco-farm about 40 minutes outside of Bogota. When the bus dropped them off at home, we talked about school and how their day went.

Me: How did you like the farm, Simon? What did you do there?

Simon: (with gusto) I poured-ed milk OUT OF A COW!! 

Me: You mean you milked a cow?

Simon: Oh yeah. I milked-ed a cow!

* * * * * * * * * * 

Liam has two uniforms for school. One is his "P.E. kit" and is comprised of a pair of windpants and a white polo shirt with the school initials embroidered on the chest. His official uniform is a pair of navy dress pants, a white button-up dress shirt and tie in school colours, with a sweater overtop. He wears the P.E. uniform Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, and the more formal uniform Thursday and Friday.

Last Thursday must've been warmer than usual because he took off his sweater and hasn't been able to find it since. We've looked everywhere at home, he's looked in all his different classes, and his teacher took him down to the lost and found. No luck.

We were talking about the missing sweater again this morning and he looked at me and said, "What size is my jumper?".

His jumper??

Next thing I know he's going to be talking about his trousers and calling Simon a bloke.

Welcome to British school.