double digits! double digits!

A few people have asked recently about whether or not we'll be having the baby here in Colombia or returning home to Canada for the birth. Currently our plan is to not only stay in Bogota... but we're planning a homebirth.

This surprises a lot of people -especially the Colombians!- but there are many reasons behind our choice.

With Liam, labour started spontaneously with contractions every 3 minutes right from the get go. Being my first time, we went to the hospital where it was confirmed that it was, indeed, real labour and left with instructions to return when it got "real bad". We returned to the hospital around 2 or 3am, but being only 3-4 centimetres dilated, were given the choice to stay at the hospital (where the only accommodations they could offer us were in the waiting room) or to return home. 

We went back home of course. Back home again. 

I was so defeated by the thought of being sent home A THIRD TIME that I determined to labour at home as long as possible and arrived at the hospital already at 9 cms. I begged and pleaded for an epidural -while crying on hands and knees in the triage area!- and when they checked me after the epidural was in place I was at 10ccms. 

The epidural completely stalled my labour. Contractions slowed to 8 mins apart (which was actually a blessed relief since it gave Peter and I both the chance to sleep for a few hours) and pitocin was required to get things going again. Once I started to push though, it only took 15-20 minutes for Liam to be born. 19 hours from beginning to birth.

Liam at 10 days old

Nathaniel's birth was vastly different... 

Because of his Trisomy 18 diagnosis, we chose to induce at 37 weeks. This meant that our families could make arrangements to travel to be with us and it was also deemed the best chance for us to be able to spend time with him alive. So I was induced with the use of cervidel (sp?) and pitocin. Once again labour started right off with contractions every three minutes and continued that way for (another) NINETEEN MORE HOURS. I finally did choose to get an epidural, but more for the sake of having it in place should a c-section be necessary.

Turned out that it was.

Even though we had to fight for the section to be performed (as they only considered ME as a patient and not Nathaniel since his diagnosis was "fatal anyways"), in the end we got our wish and were able to spend a short time with Nathaniel. 

While I don't regret that decision AT ALL, the operation itself was pretty awful. I'd spent absolutely no time reading up on cesareans and had no idea what to expect, how it might feel, WHAT I might feel, how long it would take, etc, etc, etc. And the whole time I didn't know if Nathaniel was still with us or how long he would survive. It was just awful. Scary, uncomfortable, full of unknowns, super-charged with emotion... and I felt totally NOT in control.

But it was worth it.

 

When we got pregnant with Simon so soon afterwards, our doctor was concerned about the short amount of time between the cesarean and the next birth. It was agreed that we would be able to attempt a "trial" labour, but would need to be in hospital to be monitored the entire time.

When Simon was 5 days overdue, they did an ultrasound that showed he had dangerously low levels of fluid left. Even though we'd been constantly told that an induction was not an option with a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), went went in the next day and I was started on a minuscule amount of pitocin. When my doctor tried to break my water, she tried and tried and kept saying that it must be a really thick membrane. Turns out she was actually scraping against his little head... there was just no fluid left to come out.

Because of the low levels of fluid and the intensity of a pitocin induction -oh and him being posterior or "sunny side up"- his heart rate was dropping with each contractions, I was given an epidural and the OR was prepped. This was the last thing I'd wanted. However once the epidural was in place and I could relax a bit, I went from 5cm to 10cm in less than 15 minutes. No one believed me when I said I had to push, but they checked and found me fully dilated.

The obstetrician who was now in the room made it very clear that things were very close to an emergency situation and we had to get him out NOW. After three pushes, Simon was born with the help of a vacuum (and the OB reaching in and manually turning him to help him through the pelvis... thank goodness for female OBs with small hands!). He had meconium staining, scratches on his head, and was pretty blue from the cord being wrapped two or three times around his neck.

It was intense and a bit scary and panicked at the end, but again totally worth it... and I avoided the operating room.

because of the low fluid, him rubbing his face in utero and the birth process itself, his face was SO RED

We moved to Gatineau in 2008 when I was three months pregnant and we were unsure what our birthing options would be. After doing some reading, talking to other moms and making some calls, we settled on the Maison de Naissance, a midwives practice in the city. We'd been told that you pretty much had to call the moment of conception to get in with them... unfortunate since we'd waited until around 20 weeks to call. After an initial meeting, however, they agreed to accept us seeing as this was not my first birth and that -other than Nathaniel's T18 diagnosis- we'd had not other complications.

The labour and birth were fast and intense and I honestly thought I would die before Andrew was born, but the whole midwife/birth centre experience was WONDERFUL. The prenatal care we received was amazing and I loved being able to pack up and leave the birth centre when I felt ready... in this case only about four hours after Andrew's birth.

Andrew at 5 days old

If you bothered to read the link above (I did... not really sure I should have!), you'll know that the natural, drug-free birth at the birth centre was not exactly all roses. It was HARD. After having epidurals with the first three boys, I was seriously questioning my sanity for attempting a birth without one... I was also questioning the likelihood of survival! So why would we choose to have another unmedicated birth, and a home birth at that?

Well the options in Bogota are few. While I'm sure many women have wonderful experiences at hospitals, the hospitals here are not like those in Canada and the US. Don't get me wrong, the medical facilities here are excellent, but there aren't really Labour and Delivery or birthing rooms. From what I've heard, there's ONE -only one!- at the nearest hospital. Most babies are born in operating rooms... completely sterile, bright lights, lots of staff in masks and gowns... and all of the traumatic memories and fears that, for me, go along. So when a friend down here gave us the name of the doctor she's used for her last two births here in Bogota, and he determined we are great candidates for a home birth, it seemed an easy choice to make. 

Not only is he an actual obstetrician with twenty years experience (and the only doctor currently doing home births in Bogota), should something go wrong the hospital is about five minutes away. We can see it from our livingroom window!

I also love the idea of being able to have this baby girl and then crawl right into MY OWN BED. No stay in hospital, no hospital food (although maybe it's better here??), no strange environment and people (to whom I can't communicate because I can't speak spanish), no painful drive home through the bumpy streets and crazy traffic of Bogota. I would also love for the boys to be able to be present and maybe involved a bit, or at the very least be able to come in right away and meet their baby sister. 

Baby sister.

That's still feels so weird to say.

And speaking of our family's newest estrogen-infused family member, today marks 99 DAYS UNTIL MY DUE DATE! While I'm likely to be overdue (as I was for all the boys except Nathaniel), it''s still fun to see that countdown app on our iPod go to double digits.

If any of you have home birth stories you care to share, I'd love to hear them! Either here in the comments of even a link to a blog post you may've written.

silent 'b', tears, and reasons to homeschool

At the boys' school, they have set up a really neat and useful system for parents. It's kind of an intranet type thing for which each family has a user name and password. Once logged in, it's possible to read notices from the school, email teachers (and possibly other parents, though I've never tried), pay money owed to the school, check the academic history of your child... and also check pending homework assignments. 

Liam's teacher, Mr. A, uses the system to send home the weeks' spelling words.

The spelling lists generally have a theme: 'oy' words, camping, silent 'k', etc. This week it's silent 'g' and 'b'.  The list contains the following words:

- gnomes

- gnat

- gnaw

- numb

- dumb

- bomb

- thumb

- crumb

- doubt

- tomb

You might not see it right away, but look at the fifth word down... 'dumb'? Really? With the vastness and richness of the English language, 'dumb' made the cut for words with a silent 'b'?? I realize that the word can be used properly -as in the deaf, dumb and hard of hearing- but I seriously doubt that's context in which most seven year olds use the word.

I know that 'dumb' isn't the worst word out there and that many seven year olds likely use it as part of their daily vocabulary. Liam, however, does not. While we wouldn't punish him if we did hear him using it, we would take the opportunity to talk to him about words that are respectful and those that aren't, and about the importance of being careful with the words we choose to use. We hope our children will grow up to be eloquent, articulate adults who can string together a sentence -even and especially in anger or frustration- that doesn't include base four-letter words.

I did send Mr A an email explaining my disappointment with the word choice, even suggesting some alternative (ie, comb, lamb, climb, etc). His response was kind, if somewhat dismissive. Apparently the word lists come from some National Literacy Strategies board in the UK (since it's a British school) for students in Year 3 (grade 2). He did say that they take the opportunity to talk to the kids about the true meaning of the word and its appropriate use, but still.

Am I completely out of line -and a total prude- to still think that having the word 'dumb' on a spelling list is questionable? It's not like Liam misspelled the word in an assignment and the teacher simply taught him the correct spelling... they're teaching the kids to spell it!

In the interest of full disclosure, this wasn't the first email I'd sent Mr A...

Last week Liam had a couple of very rough days at school. He told us all about what happened when he got home (and I'm quite happy that he still feels safe and confident enough to be that open with us, something I hope will continue for years and years to come!) but after hearing his account, I was a bit surprised and upset that his teacher hadn't written to us himself, either an email or in Liam's agenda...

Liam spent 10-15mins hiding under his desk -crying- during one of their breaks and his teacher didn't think it warranted a mention.

And so I sent Mr A an email (not harsh, but not overly cheerful either) explaining what Liam had told us and asking for an explanation as to why his teacher -the adult that we've entrusted with our son's care- did not feel it important enough to tell us himself. And Mr A did respond, quickly, with a very thoughtful email. I'll give him that.

But I'm pretty sure I've now cemented myself in his mind as the over-protective-overly-attached-prudish-mother-to-the-new-kid-in-class...

*sigh*

(The school just called and Liam has a fever. So I have to stuff some food into Andrew and I, change us out of our pjs, jump in the car, and drive the 30-60 minutes (depending on traffic) to the school and back to pick him up. Hmmm, wouldn't be doing this if we were still homeschooling...)

the rest from the red bench

As promised, the rest of the red bench series:

not sure why this one is so pixelated. sorry.

My younger sister, Lynette, and her five (very silly) nephews.

probably my favourite

HAHAHAHA!

boys on a red bench

This week's theme at iheartfaces is Red. For Valentine's and also for the American Heart Association's Go Red for Women Campaign.

This is a picture I took this summer while in Regina visiting family before our move down to Bogota. I was bound and determined to get a few good pictures of my three boys and my sister's two... and it didn't happen until the day before we left. I threw together five outfits of mismatched stripes and plaids and dragged the five of them around my sister's neighbourhood until the whining got to be more than I could bare I got the shots I was looking for.

Now while I pride myself on having gotten some great shots of kiddos not-my-own in the past, this was quite the challenge. Not only were they, after years of my picture-taking, no longer impressed/awed by the lady-with-the-big-black-camera, but my threats and cajoling had little effect on them and their levels of cooperation. Add to that the fact that one of them was sick with a cold that had him coughing mouth wide open in 80% of the images, but another (Simon) was starting to spike a fever and feeling generally miserable (a trip to an emergency clinic that night lead to a strep throat diagnosis, poor guy).

Not to mention that never have you met a group of five sillier boys.

This bench is about two blocks from my sister's house, along a street in the much neglected "Chinatown" area of the city. Driving passed it several times during our three weeks there, I knew it would be a fun place to drag take the boys for pictures. There is actually a whole series of these -some of which are hilarious- that I'll try to get around to posting sometime this week.

More great pics, as always, over at iheartfaces.

Here are the rest, if you're curious or want a laugh.

life of a diplomat

This last month has been a busy one for Peter at the embassy. His section was preparing for a high level visit from Canada in addition to spending hours compiling and writing various briefs for all of the meetings that were scheduled. The annual Human Rights (one of the files that Peter covers) Review is also due sometime this month, which is in itself a huge project.

This all has means that Peter's been putting in long (longer than his usual 'long') hours at work and then coming home and working most of the evening after the boys go to bed. Although it's been busy and at times stressful and frustrating for him (and me), it's also great experience to be so involved in planning a visit like this.

And now that the visitors from Canada have arrived (and some have already departed, actually), it has meant days of meetings and lunches and commissions... and entertaining the visitors. In addition to taking them out to some of Bogota's notable restaurants to experience some of the sometimes crazy night life here*, a dozen or so from the embassy also took in a bull fight on the weekend. Peter came home saying it was definitely an interesting cultural experience, but not one that he'll be in a big hurry to sign up for again! 

Gory was the word he used.

I won't go into the details he shared, but suffice to say I'm glad I decided to stay home with the boys instead of going along. Peter said that, while there were several kids there, it "would've destroyed Liam". He likened it to the Roman Colosseum... people of all walks of life (the Colombia President's kids were there in one of the private boxes) crammed into a stadium to cheer and jeer and drink and revel in death, essentially.

I'll take a quiet afternoon sitting in the playroom knitting while the boys play Lego, thankyouverymuch.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Speaking of death, Peter left for the airport early this morning just after seeing the boys off to school. He and one of the fellows visiting from Ottawa are off to an area of Colombia along the Pacific (I think it was?) coast. When Peter was explaining where it was they were headed to, this other guy nervously responded, "But they wouldn't send us anywhere actually dangerous, would they? I assured my (newly pregnant) wife they wouldn't.".

Well...

Colombia does have the 10th highest rate of homicide globally (as of 2009) and this area does have the highest murder rate IN ALL OF COLOMBIA...

Do you consider that dangerous??

Needless to say, I'll feel better once I know he's on the plane headed home.

* * * * * * * * * * *

And just for fun, here's a picture of Peter from one of the Human Rights consultations that took place earlier this week... 

He's talking during class.

that's him in the red tie, talking to the Ambassador

In his defence, the meeting was just starting and most people weren't even there yet, as evidenced by all the empty seats. Punctuality is not as much of a priority down here.

Welcome to Colombia.

*Just to be clear, the extra-curricular excursions were all on everyone's own dime and it was only Peter's co-workers from here and counterparts from Ottawa that went out at night. It's not like Ministers travel around the world to go clubbing with entry level employees... although that would be pretty funny and make a good story!

not quite one in a million, but pretty close

This blog has not been getting much love this new year!

I can't blame being sick anymore since I've actually been feeling better... recently (for which I am soooo thankful). I haven't thrown up for four days! FOUR DAYS! I haven't had a streak this long since it all started mid-October. Woohoo.

I'm still sleeping terribly, but let's focus on the positive.

Speaking of positives, Peter wrote an important test last week on which is promotion to the next level of the foreign service is based. Normally this exam is written after three year, but they have the option to sit for it after 18 months, which is what Peter chose to do.

And he passed!

While it's not unheard of for foreign service officers to pass the exam after 18 months, it's also not terribly usual. Just like it's not unheard of for FS officers to receive an overseas post after only one year in Ottawa, but it's really not very common (the norm being three years at headquarters before posting abroad). And while most new hires to the foreign service pass their second language requirement (French in Peter's case), few manage to get three E's (top marks) in all categories... his teacher even cried when he told her. And have I ever mentioned here that, of the over 12,000 people who wrote the Foreign Service exam the same year as Peter, he was one of only about 125 applicants chosen?

All that to say that I'm really proud of him.

And he's almost infuriatingly humble about it all! 

Let's review...

- when he wrote the exam, they hired about 1% of applicants and he was one of them,

- of those 1%, some likely already had their second language proficients, of those who had to complete language training, only a small handful would've scored perfect on all three exams,

- I don't have actual numbers, but I'd hazard a guess that less than a dozen of those were awarded an overseas post after only one year at headquarters,

- and... AND... he passed his FS2 exam!

HE'S AWESOME.

And I thought you should all know.