like cutting my heart out of my chest

BEFORE

AFTER

And another

So I cut Simon's hair.

Clearly.

It's so hot and humid here. SO HOT AND HUMID. Peter's been bugging me to cut the boys hair for a few weeks. Liam's had several hair cuts (one in particular that made me cry), but this was Simon's first MAJOR chop.

Or buzz, as the case may be.

My head knows that this look is much more practical for the summer, but my heart (oh, my heart) hated to cut it all off. You might be thinking I should've just cut it short, but anyone who knows this child knows how impossible it would be to get him to sit still long enough to get an decent cut. So the razor it was.

Now look at this next picture. I can't look at it without laughing.

Who IS this guy??

my little skin heads

Aren't they all cute??

(Sorry for the noise all you photogs. Didn't realize my ISO was set to 800. Argh.)

how to host a star wars party in 5 excruciatingly painstakingly detailed steps: part 3 - the fondant

After hearing about Marshmallow Fondant (MMF) in the comments on another blog (I can't remember which), I decided that it would be perfect for the Clone Wars cake that Liam had in mind for his birthday. The recipes I read all looked easy enough, but I was surprised that it really WAS so easy. And fun.

Here's what you'll need:

- 16 oz bag of marshmallows (I used the big ones, but the minis would probably be even better)
- 1 few tablespoons of water
- 1 kg icing sugar
- Crisco shortening (eww.)

Step 1: Melt the marshmallows
Place the entire bag of marshmallows in a microwave safe bowl. Add 2 Tbsp water. Melt in the microwave on high for 30 seconds, remove and stir. Repeat until the marshmallows are all melted, which should take around 2 minutes. Be careful as THIS GETS HOT.

Step 2: Prepare your work surface.
While you marshmallows are melting, it's time to prepare your work surface. Seeing as our two main ingredients are marshmallows and icing sugar, things are going to be STICKY. In order to make the later step of kneading possible, you'll need to grease your table/counter with Crisco. Crisco grosses me out, but it was a necessary evil in this case.

Step 3: Add the powdered icing sugar.
Adding approximately 1/2-3/4 of the bag, stir until mostly combined. As you can see, we're taking something sweet and adding something sweeter. Can you feel the sugar crash already?

It will likely still be a little lumpy.

Step 4: Kneading. Oh, the kneading...
After you've stirred in the majority of the bag of icing sugar, grease your hands with Crisco. Palms, backs, fingers, the cracks between your fingers. (Again, Crisco is pretty high on the list of "Things I'd Rather Not Touch Let Alone Eat", but you will appreciate it's usefulness in this recipe.)

Take the bag of icing sugar and pour most of what's left onto your Crisco covered table, making a small well in the center. Now empty the contents of your bowl into the sugar well.

NOTE: This is MUCH to do after smearing Crisco all over your hands. A hot glass bowl + Crisco-coated hands = great difficulty.

Once your icing sugar well is ready, go ahead and scrape your marshmallow mixture out of the bowl. Begin to slowly fold the marshmallow onto itself. The icing sugar will stick to the marshmallows and be incorporated in as you knead. At this point, the fondant is soft and warm and soft and supple and soft and... did I mention soft?

Seriously. Even if you don't have a cake to decorate, make some of this stuff just to experience this first bit of kneading. It is almost beyond words. I can hardly describe the sensation of touching this stuff at this point. It's luscious. Heady. Do it.

Almost done.

Knead until all of the icing sugar is incorporated and no little specks of white are visible. This will take at least 8 minutes. You will need to periodically re-grease your work surface to keep the fondant from sticking. If your fondant seems too dry, add some water 1/2 a tablespoon at a time (DO NOT add too much or you'll find yourself stuck in a downward spiral of "a bit more water, a bit more sugar, a bit more fondant, a bit more sugar". Err on the side of caution.)

Step 5: Wrap it up.
You could use the fondant right away, however I read on several sites that it's better to make it ahead and refrigerate it at least overnight (it will keep in the fridge for weeks). In order to do this, coat the ball of fondant in Crisco, cover in plastic wrap, and place inside another bag or container, squeezing out as much air as possible.


NEXT TIME: The cake!

How we did it:
pre-party planning and ideas
the invitation how-to
pool noodle lightsabers
marshmallow fondant
the cake (in less than 100 pictures)
the big day

thoughts on my first Father's Day without a father

Yesterday was good. And sad. And a bit strange.

It was my first Father's Day without my own dad. I didn't see him or talk to him on the phone. I didn't get to tell him that I love him and how blessed I am to have him as a father. I spent most the day purposely NOT thinking about him and his absence from a day that, for the majority of my life, revolved around him.

my daddy and baby me

I didn't write a post last year at this time (I was totally new to this whole blogging thing... starting my blog in May and then not posting again until near the end of August! Blog FAIL.), so I don't remember when I talked to him that day or what exactly was said. I don't remember if it was a good day for him or if it was day where he really struggled with the effects of his brain surgeries from earlier in the year.

I wonder if I would have made the effort to remember all the details if I had known that it would be his/our last Father's Day.

Probably, he talked to Liam and Simon for longer than he talked to me. It's fun to listen to the nonsense of a 1 1/2 year old and the Lego-filled ramblings of a 5 year old. Little boys who didn't have any expectations or judgments. Little boys who didn't worry and didn't have to hide the fear in their voices.

When it was my turn, I'm sure I did most of the talking. I think that he was still having a hard time speaking and finding his words at this time last year. Once so articulate and eloquent, the surgeries that were performed (and the infection that followed) greatly impaired the language center of his brain. So I likely talked while he listened.

And I likely cried a little after hanging up.


**********

Of course we still celebrated here, but we were celebrating Peter, my children's father. One of my reasons for starting this blog was to be able to document the little things that happen in our lives. I know my children will remember the big events, birthdays, Christmases, getting their drivers licenses, graduation, weddings, etc. I wanted this to be a record of the little things that go on in our lives. I hope that they will be able to look back and see -through the fights and mistakes and any misfortunes that may fall- how much they were loved.

How much they ARE loved.

My boys are so blessed to have the father that they do. Their heavenly Father did a great job in picking Peter out for them! He may not be the perfect parent (neither of us are), but he loves them with the kind of love that moves mountains. I know that sounds like a bit of a cliche (it definitely sound like a line from a cheesy song!), but there really is nothing that he wouldn't do for them.

He's the kind of dad who will learn the words to a specific song that his boys insist be sung each night before bed... even though he doesn't really like to sing.

He's the kind of dad who will spend HOURS sitting on the hard floor, bent over bins full of Lego, because his son wants him to build a catapult... even though it's supposed to be his day to relax.

He's the kind of dad who will play silly games and make strange noises in order to coax a few more bits into his toddler... even though on the inside he's screaming, "Just. Eat. It. Already!"

He's the kind of dad who shares his bed with his infant sons and endure kicks and punches all night long... even though he'd rather said infant slept in his crib.


So thank you, Peter, for loving these boys so perfectly and for loving their mom, too.

Happy Father's Day... a day late, but I know that doesn't surprise you!

how to host a star wars party in 5 excuriatingly painstakingly detailed steps: part 2 - the invitation

Part 1 - the lightsabers

This one's going to be a little bit harder to give step-by-step instructions for. To begin with, I spent an embarrassing amount of time on the Star Wars Lego website. If you click on the link and take a look at the home page you'll see that that's where I took the header, side and footer from.

In order to use any of the elements from the website, I had to first save a screen shot containing each piece that I was interested in using. As I said, the main bones of the invite came from the home page, the majority of the rest came from the Comics link. I did remove the navigation bar at the top and elongated the whole thing in order to have room for all of the birthday party details. The picture in the window near the top came from one of the comic episodes, as did the silhouettes of Anakin, Asoka and R2D2 near the bottom.

All of these elements were put together in Gimp (a program similar to Photoshop but doesn't require one to sell a kidney to buy it it's free to download), and then the text was added one line at a time so that I could control the font size to give it the same look as the scrolling Star Wars intro.


I'm pretty proud of how seamless this looks, especially considering that it consists of at least eighteen different "layers" or elements. While it's hard to explain how this was done -especially to those who aren't familiar with Photoshop or Gimp- I think that this method can be used to make an invitation to fit any theme.

Someone suggested selling customized birthday invites on Etsy or the like, but I'm not sure of the logistics regarding using what I'm assuming are copyrighted images. Think there'd be a market for them?? ;)

How we did it:
pre-party planning and ideas
the invitation how-to
pool noodle lightsabers
marshmallow fondant
the cake (in less than 100 pictures)
the big day

how to host a star wars party in 5 excruciatingly painstakingly detailed steps: part 1 - the lightsabers

I took so many pictures of my preparations for Liam's birthday(s). Even though it's weeks later, I can't waste them! So first up in our five part series of Excruciatingly Painstakingly Detailed Steps to your very own Star Wars birthday party will be...

Pool Noodle Lightsabers

Step 1: Measure one pool noodle and mark the middle.
In this case, I already had one lightsaber completed, so I used it as a guide. This is not a science. It does not need to be exact. Hopefully no one will be comparing length... they're little kids after all.
Using a sharpie or similar works well. The end will be covered by tape when all is said and done.

Step 2: Cut.
Use a serrated knife to cut the pool noodles in half. The cut surprising easily. Like buttah.

Step 3: Admire your work.

Step 4: Assemble your supplies.
In additions to you pool noodles, you will need: duct tape (silver, grey or both), black electricians tape, scissors.

Step 5: The end.
Cover the end of the of the pool noodle first. They are a bit of an awkward size in that one piece will not cover the end completely, and doing a simple 'x' will leave little corners exposed. We found this to be the most effective way to cover the end of your lightsaber 'hilt'.

Step 6: Cover your hilt.
Using the duct tape and electrical tape, wrap the bottom eight or so inches of the pool noodle to form the base of your hilt. You can chose to use all black, all grey, all silver, or a combination of all three.

Step 7: Spend hours and hours and hours detailing the hilts.
Cut lines and pieces, impossibly tiny square and thin strips of your various tapes in order to create the lightsaber hilt detail. Stay up until midnight several nights in a row in order to complete a dozen unique, one-of-a-kind pool noodle lightsaber.

Yes, THEY ARE EACH DIFFERENT. Have I mentioned that I can be a little neurotic?


Cost break down
- pool noodles from Walmart $1.97/2 = $.98 each
- 2x duct tape, 1x electrical tape ~$11.00, used approx half so $5.50/12 = $.46 each
TOTAL $.98 + $.46 = $1.44 each

Since these made up the majority of the "loot bag", it was a very frugal parting gift for all of the kids who attended. The kids beat each other silly played with these lightsabers for the entire three hour party. When it was time to leave, Liam also gave each child a Clone Wars kite that we found for $2.93 each, bringing our total to $4.41 per child. They each took home two things that they can actually play with, not a little bag full of junk.

Any questions?

How we did it:
pre-party planning and ideas
the invitation how-to
pool noodle lightsabers
marshmallow fondant
the cake (in less than 100 pictures)
the big day

the end

Below is a post that I wrote over two weeks ago, but forgot to post. I think I'd been waiting to take a picture of Liam to go with it and then, again, forgot. So here it is. Better late than never (Story of my life!).

Thanks to Dani from Postcards from the Mothership for alerting me to this poem (in a round about way). I wish I'd read it earllier so I could have read it to Liam on his birthday.

The End
- A. A. Milne

When I was One,
I had just begun.

When I was Two,
I was nearly new.

When I was Three,
I was hardly me.

When I was Four,
I was not much more.

When I was Five,
I was just alive.

But now I am Six, I'm as clever as clever.
So I think I'll be six now for ever and ever.


Six IS a very neat age.

brandishing his lightsaber

fitness friday - week 1

As I mentioned in my post this last Tuesday, I don't want to bore you all with daily updates on my 30-Day Shred and therefore decided to relegate Shred posts to once a week. Then I thought it would be fun for others who are shredding to be able to link up with their own sobs, stories, and successes. But why limit it to just shredders? I know that other bloggers regularly post exercise/fitness related posts who might also like to participate.

And thus Fitness Fridays was born.

Hopefully some of you will humour me pity me play along and write a fitness-focused post or link to one that you've already written this week.

**********

I finished Day 3 of the Shred yesterday. It was SO. MUCH. EASIER. than day 1 was. Don't get me wrong, I was still hurting and still irritated at that one point where Jillian says, "Just a couple more!" then starts blabbing about something and infact makes you do like TEN more, but it was so much more bearable.

It might have helped that I took Wednesday off (other than walking around Superstore, BulkBarn, Super C, two Loblaws, and two Walmarts. I know. Ugh, right?). What started out as a grocery shopping-induced headache turned into me sitting on the couch all night eating ice cream. Chocolate cheesecake ice cream to be exact. Mmmmm, chocolate cheesecake. *wipes drool off chin*

Where was I? Right, the Shred and how I flaked out after only two days.

Initially, my biggest concern about the Shred was that it doesn't seem to allow for any days of rest which I've always read are important when exercising and especially when doing strength training. When I was going to the gym 4-6 days a week in Calgary, I would focus on legs one day then arms the next, thus giving each muscle group a chance to rest and build. While I'd like to do this with the Shred -or even two days on, one day off- the "45-day Shred" doesn't quite have the same ring to it, does it?

We'll see how I feel tomorrow and the next day. Day 1 was painful, day 2 was excruciating, then day 3 -after I was a big lame-o non-shredder a day of rest- left me feeling great and actually energized.

For those of you who are a few days ahead of me with the Shred, what was your experience? Did you find it got that much easier that quickly? How have you felt rest or taking a day off has played into your shredding experience, or have you not taken any time off at all?

Now it's your turn.

If you have an exercise move, tip or advice you'd like to share, or even if you are simply documenting your progress, link up! Any post written this week is fair game. If you're doing something daily like the Shred or Fit in 15, feel free to add a link for each post with a brief description in parenthesis. Please make sure to link directly to your post, not your homepage, and please include a link back to Muddy Boots in your post.

This is my first time using one of Mr Linky's Magic Widgets, so *fingers crossed*.

Also, I took my 'before' pictures today. Yikes. I'll post them at the end of the Shred if you all promise to ooh and ahh over the changes to my body, mkay?

**********

ETA: I posted my own Day 1 Shred post just to give you an idea how of how to format your links so that people will have any idea of what your post is about. Cause I'm neurotic and controlling like that.

E(again)TA: I'll leave Mr Linky up until Monday morning, then put a new one up next Friday. Please remember to link back to my blog in your Fitness Friday post. Thanks much.

pics from my first engagement shoot

Recently I was asked if I would consider photographing the wedding of our pastor's daughter, Elsa, and her sweetie, Sonny. At first, the possibility of doing an awful job made me seriously doubt my abilities and, frankly, made me feel a little nauseous. But they were convincing and Peter was encouraging, so I agreed to do it as our gift to them.

Last week we went out to take some engagement pictures and here are a few of my favorite pictures from MY FIRST EVER ENGAGEMENT SHOOT.

Sonny and Elsa. How cute are they? Sonny, can I call you cute?
I know (now) that I should've had them facing the light. It
was definitely a learning experience for me. A good one.

They play a lot of chess together, ergo the king and queen game pieces.

I love that she only has a hold on one of his fingers.

I have more to go through, but so far I'm quite happy with them. More importantly, Sonny and Elsa are happy with them. I was nervous as all get out, especially trying to give direction in my broken french (I managed. Badly.) and trying to remember all my ideas (I didn't) and then trying to get those ideas to translate through the camera (some did). It was definitely a lot of fun though.

If you'd like to see the rest of the shots, here's the link to the flickr set.

If this photography thing goes anywhere, I'll have to start another blog/site for it -other than my sadly neglected photo blog linked above. If you have any comments/advice/criticism I'd love to hear it. Seriously. Like I said, this was my first time. I'm still learning and want to improve.

Related: How much do you love the name Elsa?? It makes me swoon. LOVE. IT. So pretty.

a walk with Nana

I am SO. BEHIND. in sharing pictures from this spring/summer. My mom was here for 10 days, followed by 10 days with Peter's parents and I've yet to post much about it. Shame on me. Here's a start.







I know. I even got out from behind the camera! The bigger wonder is that Peter managed to take a picture that's in focus. Shock!

(If you read an anonymous comment from some reader extolling the virtues of my long suffering husband, it's likely from the very same... who doesn't like to have his photography skills criticized, but is snoring on the couch next to me so can't stop me from writing this. That'll teach him. *waves* Hi, hun.)

For more Wordless Wednesdays, head over to 5 Minutes For Mom and Mom Dot.

ouch! and an idea

I am moving verrrry slowly today.

When I awoke this morning, I began a detailed assessment of the damage done by yesterday's inaugural Shred. Wiggled my finger, no pain. Wiggled my toes, so far so good.

But it all went down hill from there.

There is not a single part of my body that does not register pain when moved. My neck is stiff, my back is sore, my arms throb even sitting here at the table typing, my legs screamed in protest when I made them walk up three -THREE!- stairs from the back door. Jillian Michael's worked me over good.

Will I go back for more?? Absolutely! As much as it hurts right now, I know that's what it takes to change my body and get in shape. Yet as stoic as that sounds, I do reserve the right to whine and complain about it for as long as it hurts... so for the next 30 days at least!

However, I won't bore you with daily woe-is-me-and-my-aching-self posts. I've decided to limit such fitness-induced navel gazing to once each week. I'm thinking of adding a Mr. Linky so that others can easily share their Shred journeys with me us. I thought we could open it up to any sort of fitness post... maybe a "Sunday Shred" carnival or even "Fitness Friday". I like the idea of doing it on the weekend as a week-in-review type thing.

Any thoughts? Am I getting a bit too big for my britches thinking I could host a Mr. Linky carnival? Would it just be me, Tia, and Lou (Who WILL be continuing with the Shred! We made a deal, lady... I've got your address, remember?? I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE.)? What about you, Anna? You could link up your Workout Wednesday posts?

Maybe I'll try it for a few weeks STARTING THIS FRIDAY and see how it goes. I know I'll feel pretty silly/sheepish/lame if no one participates so please play along. ANY fitness related post written ANY day this last week is eligible.

Now I'm off to figure out Mr Linky.

Which will take awhile seeing as I'm typing with my nose.

day 1 complete

Day 1 of the Shred is complete.

It was hard.

Immediately following, I came upstairs -stairs that were suddenly much longer than before- for a glass of water. I shakily poured water into a glass that my tired arms then had a hard time even lifting to my lips. I carried -the suddenly much heavier feeling- Andrew to the bathroom to run a shower, and when I was forced to do a semi-squat in the tub to grab the soap, my legs almost gave out all together.

That all being said, I still feel great.

My body feels LIKE MUSH, but my heart is proud and my head is excited about actually doing something to change how I look and feel about myself.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those women whose self-esteem is not at all tied into their physical appearance. I would never go so far as to say that my confidence is wrapped up in how I look, but I don't like feeling awkward and embarrassed in my own skin. I'm sure that most people would say that I "look fine", or to that I "should give myself a break", or remind me that I "just had a baby". Yeah, almost six months ago!

I am in awe of women who can look at their stretched and scarred skin and lovingly see it all as a badge of honour. Marks of motherhood. While I do love what these stretch marks and extra skin have brought me, and I do strive to love myself for who and what I am, I also feel that fitness and health are important. And in my current state I don't feel fit and I don't feel healthy. I don't feel confident in how I look, and I don't feel at all attractive - and no amount of arguing on Peter's part has been able to change that.

I'm not striving for anything drastic. I simply want to be able to fit into the closet full of clothes that I currently own. I want to be able to use my own belts and not Peter's. I want to be able to take my kids swimming and actually enjoy myself and not spend the whole time feeling awful and uncomfortable.

In addition to doing the Shred, I'm going to start being more conscious about what I'm eating. We eat pretty healthily around here, but I know I can do better. I'm a serious chocolate junky. And I love ice cream. And cookies. And chips.

And I have ZERO self-control.

I can't just say I'll have one cookie or one bite of chocolate. If it's in the house, I'll eat it. If I make cookies, I eat half a dozen a day (cause I make goooood cookies). If we open a bag of chips, I'll eat them until they're gone.

Here's my battle plan:
- 30-Day Shred FOR 30 DAYS (I was going to do it a few days a week, but have decided it's got to be all or nothing. I can't give myself permission to take it easy or all totally slack off. I know this.)
- no eating after 8pm (this is going to be haaard, since Peter and I often have ice cream at night for a snack)
- fill the house with healthy snacks: soaked/roasted nuts, soaked granola w/ nuts and seeds, dried (unsulphered) fruit, fresh veggies w/ hummus, pitas w/ lactofermented salsa, baked kale (which I'm munching on right now)
- try to go for walks as a family several nights a week, especially once Liam is finished school for the summer and doesn't have such a rigid bedtime
- drink less juice (a big one for me as I could easily drink 2L of OJ every day. I lovez it.)

I know that I promised mentioned the possibility of pictures, but I don't think I can do it. Not yet. Maybe in a few months when I have an "After" shot to compare it to, but not now. I'm not brave enough.

But I will post my equally embarrassing measurements:
- mid thigh (about where my fingers hit when my arms are to my sides): 21"
- upper thigh: 25"
- hips (widest part): 41.5"
- waist (at bellybutton): 35"
- ribs (right under bra): 31"
- bicep: will get back to you when I can actually raise my arms to measure
- bust: as a nursing mother, there's no point measuring this

A few things to note for those of you thinking about this excersice DVD:
- Follow Anita. Those who already Shread, already know what I mean. Those who don't will find out within about 30 seconds.
- Do any neccessary house work BEFORE working out. This includes anything that might require you to sit, stand, walk, bend or breathe.
- Invest in a quality sports bra. Given the choice between the two sad, sad sports bras I was able to dig out from the bottom of my underwear drawer, I opted to wear BOTH. The were no match for having nursed three babies, gravity and/or jumping jacks.

P.S. I'll still eat chocolate, but it'll be the 80%+ cocoa kind. Donations accepted.

tomorrow's the day

I have fancy new shoes, a copy of the 30 Day Shred DVD, 20 lbs to lose plenty of motivation, and several willing participants. It's not even 9:30pm, but I'm heading to bed early so I can get up before the boys and turn myself over to Jillian Michaels for some butt re-shaping kicking. Who's with me??

(It's just now dawned on me that I've neglected a very important part of my workout attire. That being a sports bra. The ones in my drawer were purchased four pregnancies ago and I have serious doubts in their likely level of support. But I won't let that stop me. Sorry girls.)

(My apologies to anyone who read this post before I correct all the weird typos and awkward sentence. Oops.)

gah! better get off the computer!

Things to do today: (will cross off when complete)

- cut pool noodles to size for lightsabers and decorate lightsaber "hilts" half done the hilts
- make rice crispy cake
- blow up balloons
- clean the playroom (I'll spare you pictures of its current state) cleaned, but not vacuumed
- finish the load of diaper laundry and hang them out to dry used the dryer instead
- do more laundry done
- wash the dishes washed
- bake bread baked
- soak flour for pancakes tomorrow morning
- soak nuts to roast tomorrow soaked
- soak oats for breakfast Saturday morning (I know! I'm thinking ahead for once this week!) soaked
- shower so I don't look like a total disaster for the Ottawomen meetup tonight
- pray that the forecast changes back to sunshine so that I'm not stuck in the house tomorrow afternoon with a gaggle of lightsaber-wielding six year olds done many times over

More Thursday Thirteens HERE and HERE.

shred share

Since my Blogoversary winner, Loukia, chose the 30-Day Shred as her prize, I plan on at least trying doing (I'm going to do it! Really!) the Shred along with her.

I know I'm a bit late to jump on this bandwagon as there has previously been quite a buzz around the blogosphere about this workout DVD by Jillian Michaels. Even though I'm a lemming lagging behind, I hope to find a few others to join me us on this workout nightmare adventure. I'll be blogging about it either way, but it would be fun to have some friends/accomplices/accountability.

I propose that any interested parties leave a comment here -a letter of intent, so to speak- so I can see if there's any interest. I know there a thread going on over at TBW, but I thought it would be fun to blog about it too. I know that Shannon/A Crafty Mom and Jen have it, and my sister-in-law Sara and her friend Kristin said they both wanted to do it (they can represent the West Coast sistahs). Was it Annie or Rebecca who said they were thinking about it?

Cmon, it'll be fun!

(Actually, from what I've heard it'll be far from "fun", but at least we'll be able to not have fun together.)

Oh, and there will be pictures.

(unless I chicken out)

Who's in? If anyone else is interested in shredding along with Lou and me, we can wait until next week to start, say the 15th?

cause sometimes 140 characters just ain't enough

This morning was one of those mornings. The kind that makes you want to head back to bed by 9am. The kind that makes you Tweet things like this:

And then find this when you got home from grocery shopping,

Awww, y'all care! Nothing awful happened, really. I was just whining. But because 140 character wouldn't have been enough, I just left that cryptic nugget.

So what had me acting like a four year old?

- I didn't get enough sleep last night;
- not only did my children wake with the birds, but they insisted on forcing parenting duties on me at a much earlier hour than I'd planned;
- my darling cherubs decided to hit, whine, fight, whine, kick, scream and whine all morning... any wonder that *I* was whiny??
- I'd forgotten to soak flour for pancakes last night which resulted in a less than stellar breakfast and more whining;
- our taps were running brown last night, I'm afraid to drink the water and our Brita is empty;
- Andrew, who hadn't pooped in two days, required not only two diaper changes before 9am but also two head-to-toe clothing changes;
- the forecast for Friday says 70% of rain, and
- Simon knocked over his glass of goat's milk (very expensive $3/liter goat's milk, which is like $12/gallon for my friends south of the boarder) and it ran across the table, down the wall AND INTO THE HEATING REGISTER

So that's what broke me. The milk in the register. The expensive milk in the register.

The issue with Friday's weather is that we're planning another birthday party for Liam, this time with his entire class. Although this will be a decidedly more low key party than the one a few weeks ago, I'm COUNTING on it being outside. If you remember, it was Liam's choice to have a big party without presents instead of only inviting six classmates who would bring gifts. That means there are nineteen 5 and 6 year olds invited! I'd honestly rather cancel it altogether than have it inside, which I know would break Liam's heart.

So pray for sunshine.

And patience.

spring is (finally) here

I decided that my blog needed a new look, something decidedly more spring-ish. I'm still not completely happy with it, so will continue to make small changes

Hopefully summer won't be as late in coming as spring was and I'll be able to update my design with a summer-y header before September.

Let me know what you think.

a little confirmation of our parenting

When I dropped Liam off at kindergarten this morning, I sat in the van for a few minutes to watch him on the playground.

(I know, kinda creepy for the kids to see a van parked outside their playground. But I drive a navy mini van. When I was growing up, all the "strangers" drove white or grey cube vans. Most of the kids from his class know me and came to the fence to wave.)

In Liam's class, there is a set of twins. The little girl, A, sat together with Liam at their little tables for the first half of the year. Her twin brother, T, has a high functioning case of autism (or low autism). At the beginning of the school year when Liam was having such a difficult time adjusting to the new routine, new faces, AND NEW LANGUAGE, he bonded with T over the fact that they had the same indoor school shoes. And you thought that grown women were the only ones brought together by foot wear! T can be a challenge for the teacher as he's often disruptive and loud, but she says that the other kids are great with him.

When Liam entered the playground, I watched as he walked around looking for the little friends that he normally plays with - the usual suspects. Not finding them, he wandered around a bit until he found T off by himself.

I saw Liam trying unsuccessfully to engage T in a game of tag. He would walk up to T, gently tag him on the shoulder, then run off a few steps watching over his shoulder to see if T was following. T was pretty oblivious at first, but Liam kept going back and back.

And back.

After the eighth or ninth attempt, T finally realized what Liam was trying to do and took off running after him. With THE BIGGEST smile on his face. At that moment, I was so proud of my little boy and his big heart.

Peter and I must be doing something right.

thursday thirteen - revisited

HERE's my original post stating the 13+ things I'd like to get/have done while my mom and inlaws were visiting.

Here's the revised list:

1. replace screen in the front and back doors check
2. fix the locks on the screen doors so that Simon can't help himself to the great outdoors check
3. level the stove so I can make round pancakes instead of ovals
4. fill the holes in the bathroom wall from where Simon pulled off the towel rack
5. figure out where the water in our fridge is coming from
6. hang pictures in the living room so it looks like we've been here 11 months instead of 11 days Decided to wait on this until after we paint.
7. organize the boys' closet so that my almost-six-year-old isn't still wearing size 2T shirts check. PLUS all of next season's clothes for Simon and Andrew are ALREADY packed up together, ready to be pulled out in the fall. It makes me a little giddy to think about.
8. wash all the ziplock bags that I insist on reusing, but HATE washing check. My mom is a saint.
9. figure out how to fix my sewing machine since the repair shop only had nasty things to say about it.
10. replace a small section of dry wall in the storage room closet
11. build a patio or small deck of some sort
12. clean the range hood fan over our stove
13. maybe paint?

So only 4 out of 13. Hmmm, I thought it was more than that... We did also pick up some items needed to complete #10 and #12, but didn't get to them.

In addition to that list, here's the other items that were completed:

1. build a play structure/swing set in the backyard in time for Liam's party
2. re-pound all the fence posts that worked their way out during the freeze-thaw marathon this spring
3. re-hang both gates so they don't rub/creak/pull and do actually line up with the latches
4. re-purpose a small shelf in the garage
5. build a monster shelf/work bench in the garage that is essentially holding the whole place up
6. remove garage door, trim several inches off the bottom so that said doors can open without scraping the ground (Anyone looking to give away a older, but still working, garage door? Call me.)
7. build an awesome little play kitchen for Simon out of garage sale finds, free stuff and scrap lumber (will take and post pictures when it's been prettied up a bit)
8. capture and train several small elves to magic away dirty clothes as soon as they hit the floor and have them reappear a short time later, clean AND folded
9. vacuum and clean out our van (Bless you, Mora!)

So these nine plus the four from above is thirteen. But don't worry, it wasn't all work. Flowers were seen, a baby was dedicated and a testimony was given, parties were had, debts were paid, walks were taken, rocks were thrown into rivers, parks were played at, museums were visited, and bowling balls were bowled. In addition to those things, many books were read, hugs were given, and lots of fun was had. And look how much of it I still have to blog about! You're all going to get tired of seeing all the pictures I have to post. Many, many pictures.

While it's good to have my house to myself and be able to wear pyjamas most the day guilt-free, it was so fun to have my mom and Peter's parents here for a visit. It crossed my mind more than a few time how much my dad would've enjoyed helping Peter with all the little (and big) projects in and around the house, and it still makes me sad to think that my younger boys didn't get the chance to know him. However it made seeing them love -and being loved by- their remaining grandparents that much sweeter.

We miss you Grandma, Nana, and Papa!

(Sadly, magic elves have since disappeared or escaped. It's so hard to find good help.)

More Thursday Thirteens HERE and HERE.

wordless wednesday - playing in the rain

playing in the rain

For more Wordless Wednesdays, head over to 5 Minutes For Mom and Mom Dot.

Liam: month 72

How is it possible that my little boy is six today?? In my mind, five is still almost a baby, but six - six!- just doesn't sound so little any more.

boo, flash photography - yeah, cute kid.

Liam, this was a year of big changes for you. Leaving the only house, friends, and family you've ever known and moving across the country. This move included not only a new province, new city, new house, new church and new friends, but also a completely different language. Although you definitely struggled at the beginning, it has been amazing to see how your language skills have exploded this last month - and your confidence also.

Earlier this year, we began using a chore chart with you. This chart includes all of the tasks that you are required to do each day to take care of yourself and your things, and it also lists several tasks that you can do to earn a little bit of money. Each week, you divide your earnings into "save", "give" and "spend" jars. You chose to keep saving your "spend" money until you had enough to buy a larger toy. With the money you received for your birthday, you had a whopping $61 to spend!

For days you talked about everything you were going to get and lamented about how you would be able to make a final decision. You carried your jar around all morning and counted down the minutes until we would leave for the store. GREAT was your excitement at finally being able to spend your money.

On the way to the store, I reminded you of your sponsor "brother", Adi, in Romania with whom you share a birthday and year. I asked you what kind of a party you thought he would be having and whether you thought it might be a nice idea to use some of your money to buy him a present since he probably wouldn't be getting many gifts. I approached the subject tentatively and with all sorts of defense arguements already formulated, but to my complete and utter amazement surprise, you simply said, "Yeah, great idea."

Great idea?? Just like that? No wailing? No gnashing of teeth?

After deliberating for a painfully long time in the Lego aisle of Toys R Us, you finally decided on a Power Miners set for $25.99. When I gently reminded you about a gift for Adi, you first picked up a small ATV Lego set for $5.99, looked it over, then set it down and handed me a larger pirates set for $12.99. I mentioned that the one in your hand was twice as much money as the first one you'd looked at, but you insisted. You wanted to buy him the larger set because it could also be turned into a fire station, boat dock, etc, and would make a better toy. It didn't matter that it cost more.

And didn't your ol' mum's heart sing! I was so proud of you!


We've been talking over the last few days about having another party (I know, I'm crazy) for your friends from school. When I asked who you would like to invite, you proceeded to name off EVERY CHILD IN YOUR CLASS, and when I thought the list was done, you added the names of another three or four boys that you play with on the playground.

I told you that I thought it would be a good rule to invite as many kids as there are candles on your cake. In your case, that would mean only six friends. The panic in your voice made for a sound that likely only dogs and dolphins can hear. You insisted that you just couldn't decide and in fact might actually die if forced to choose.


So I gave you the following choice: a small party with six friends, a SIMPLE cake, gifts, a few games, etc, OR a big party with ALL your friends but the invitation would state NO GIFTS. Again, I was expecting a minor explosion, but you immediately chose the second options that wouldn't leave any of your friends out. When I explained that a birthday is a time to celebrate and have fun with the people you care about, your response was, "Yeah, and friends are more important than presents."

This from the boy who has the Lego Club CATALOG magazine memorized and can deftly ramble off a list of no less than a dozen Lego sets he has his eye on. Once again I was surprised and impressed by your maturity and your open and caring heart.


Last night as we were cuddling in bed, I was going on somewhat dramatically about how old you were getting and how soon you're not going to want to be my baby anymore. You put you arms around me and STARTED CRYING, saying that you didn't want to grow up and for me to be a grandma and MOOOOVE AWAAAAAY.

Huh?

Seems you took our resent reading of Love You Forever to heart and were a bit freaked out by the bit where the aging mother drives across town and breaks into sneaks into her grown son's house to rock him to sleep. I assured you that that would never happen and that you can live with me at least until you're eighteen for as long as you want.

(Then you asked how old I'll be this year. When I said I'll be 30, you said, "Wow, you're almost 40!". Um. Not quite.)

I love you, Liam.

(P.S. Yes, you do own more than one sweater, I just happen to love how this one brings out your eyes so I put it on you whenever it's clean, which has been almost constantly with two grandmas around to do laundry before it has a chance to hit the floor. Plus it's been almost cold enough later to wear a winter coat - IN JUNE.)

even when days are long, time flies

I meant to post this yesterday, but life got in the way.

Yesterday marked six months since my dad's death. It still seems impossible that he's gone, but at the same time it feels like years since I saw his face, heard his voice, or felt one of his strong hugs.

I miss you, dad.