for those wondering what we're thinking

You all need to prepare yourselves for the inevitable fact that I will likely be talking about homeschooling a fair bit on this blog. At least for the time being. As we muddle our way through the beginning of this journey, writing helps me focus my all-too-often-rambling train of thought.

If you read here regularly, you'll know our reasons for not sending Liam to either the nearby French school or the far away English school. And because some of you have asked (and I'm sure others silently sit and shake their heads/roll their eyes/wonder what the heck we could possibly be thinking) here are some of the reasons that we are homeschooling:

Education

• Not clock-bound. Learning can take place any time, any place.
• Children receive individualized attention and instruction. Tutorial-style education helps each child achieve his full potential and has many advantages over the typical classroom where one over-worked, under-paid teacher tries to meet the needs of many children at different learning levels.
  
• Children develop respect for parents as teachers.
• We have direct supervision over what our child is studying first hand and how much is actually being processed and absorbed.
• Homeschooling means a teaching and learning experience for both parents and their children every day.
• Provides greater opportunities for student-directed, hands-on, and experience-based learning.
  

Behaviour (Firefox doesn't like Canada's superfluous 'u'... shout out to my Canadian peeps, yo.)

• As parents, we will be able to model and reinforce valuable behaviour and de-emphasize undesirable behaviour in a natural manner.
• We will have more quality time to train and influence our children.
• We will be better able to give guidance in areas of philosophy and religion.
• Homeschooling can put more emphasis on teaching character and work ethic (continuously fostered, day in and day out) which is a parent's job, not the school's.
• Transfer our values and beliefs to our children and address their questions when they have them.
• Protect our children from some of the negative influences they may encounter outside the home, giving them confidence and independent thinking away from negative peer pressure to conform.
• Be the main influence in the lives of our children - NOT their peers and NOT their teachers.
  

Home Life

• Homeschooling helps to foster a strong sibling relationship.
• It improves the parent/child relationship.
• Spending more time together increases family unity and closeness.
• Promotes parental responsibility for the welfare, socialization and education of our children (no one can argue that this isn't SORELY LACKING in modern society).
  
• Homeschooled children are healthier as they aren't exposed to as many sick classmates (and their siblings' sick classmates, and their siblings' sick classmates, etc, etc). Related: H1N1 scare? Not a bad argument in favour (there's that pesky 'u' again) of homeschooling. *wink*
• Parents and children have the best times of the day together, not just the loose ends. I will have all day with Liam, when we're all feeling our best, not just ramping off to get to school/work in the mornings and winding down from a stressful day in the evenings.
• School hours are flexible to accommodate family schedules and vacations. ie, spending over three weeks in Regina at Christmas AND being able to fly before the beginning of the "high season" and thus save money and Air Miles.
  

My Qualifications 

I know my children better than anyone else and love them more than anyone else possibly could (Peter excepted). My concern is for their whole person. In as much as I want the best education possible for them, I believe that homeschooling is best for moral and spiritual development. Parents -as opposed to teachers- are concerned for the spiritual and character development as well as the social and academic welfare of their children. I have the most direct and long-term responsibility for my children.

The tutorial method (one-on-one) has always been a superior method for educating children. Homeschooling epitomizes this method, providing the essentials for success -a close relationship between the student and teacher, motivation, flexibility, and individualization.

What about Socialization?

Popular opinion assumes that children need periods of interaction with a group of peers to acquire social skills. By contrast, many believe that extensive peer contact during childhood can cause undesirable and negative peer dependency. When you stop and think about it, do you want your child modeling their behaviour after another young child? Why not give them access to a trusted, lcmpetent and loving adult -namely their parent- after which to model behaviour? Liam will act like a child ALL. ON. HIS. OWN. He doesn't need 8+ hours spent in the company of dozens of them to figure out how to be a six year old boy. Traditionally, children spent their waking hours playing alongside -and working with- their parents as they worked, cooked, cleaned, tended to household and business matters alike.

Young children are more likely to be influenced by the majority than to be independent thinkers and an example to others. Children who receive their education outside the home are prone to accept their peers' and teachers' values over those of their parents. Dr Bronfenbrenner of Cornell University found that children who spend more time with their peers than with their parents (as Liam would be, being gone from just after 7am until 3:30pm or later), generally become more dependent on those peers than their parents.

What it comes down to for us is this:

• Do we want our children to model after us or after their peers? After their teachers at school or their teacher at home?
• What kind of socialization do we want for our children, positive or negative?

* * * * * * * * * *

None of this is to say that homeschooling is the best option for everyone, or that those who choose to send their children to school are not concerned for the spiritual and character development of their child. That is absolutely NOT what I'm saying.

When we first moved to Gatineau, we registered Liam for kindergarten at our neighbourhood school, and were at first upset when he was transfered to the school the zone over. During the year, however, we heard from parents, an aldermann who lives a few blocks from here, AND an elementary school teacher in the public system that it is not a good school. Our hope was that he would be able to continue at the school he attended for kindergarten, but our request was denied do to space constraints. However, the next most viable option would have him gone for 8 1/2 hours each day. That is much, much too long for a six year old. If you take away the time spent rushing to get ready in the morning, the time needed to prep and eat supper, then the rush to get to bed in hopes of avoiding cranky kids the next day, that would leave us with barely an hour of quality time together.

An hour together! He's only six!

The other reason that I haven't brought up here before is a new "Ethics and Morals" course Liam would have to take at any of the public schools. As Christians, we fully intend to teach Liam as much as possible concerning the various religions and world views... in an age appropriate way, after he has a firm base in biblical Truth and Knowledge (capitalization deliberate... we believe in absolutes). The Ethics and Morals course curriculum devotes a mere 14% of it's time to what would be considered Judeo-Christian, but lumps Catholicism, Protestantism and Judaism all together.

Even that though wouldn't be enough for us to pull our child out of school. What concerns us is that we have no control over how these views of religion are presented. He might have some militant atheist for a teacher who scoffs at him for believing in God. A teacher who, because they're together for 8+ hours a day, would be held in very high esteem in Liam's eyes. He might have a teacher who tells him that all gods are the same. Whether or not you (my avid reader, *waves*) agree with me on any of these points, is somewhat irrelevant. We do not believe it is the school's place to teach morals and ethics and religion to our child. Period.

The clincher for me was when I learned that one of the assignments in this course is to create your own god.  YOUR OWN GOD. Although I'm pretty sure that for most kids the final product will closely resemble Santa Claus, the whole idea of creating your own god is absolutely not okay with me. Some of you may be scratching your heads and wondering what the big deal is, but some are likely sitting with their mouths hanging open.

It just didn't sit well with us and combined with what we'd heard about the school, the fact that there wasn't really another viable option, our request to stay at last year's school having been rejected, well, homeschooling began to look better and better. Peter was not very keen on the idea at first and he still has some reservations, but after going through some of the curriculum ideas over the last few days and talking with some of our homeschooling friends, we decided to try it for this year. We will evaluate at the end of the year and discuss where to go from there.

The fact that we were buried under about six feet of snow last winter didn't factor into it at all...

now that was interesting

This morning, I called my friend Shannon to see if she was free today. I was hoping for a fun distraction for my boys (ie. her boys), a break from the "I don't have anything to doooooo's", and a chance to pick Shannon's brain about homeschool curriculum, since she homeschools her 5 and 7 year old boys.

Because it's official.

Liam will get to go to school in his pyjamas this year.

No sooner had I hung up with Shannon then the phone rang again. This time it was Miss L from the Western Quebec School Board. Seems she'd heard that we are planning to homeschool our son... huh? You see, last week when we were still exploring our options, I had left a message with the principal of the English school whose zone we would fall into (school 'C'). She finally returned my call yesterday, but in the four or five days that had elapsed, we'd made the decision to keep Liam at home this year. I told her as much over the phone, thanked her for returning my call, and said goodbye. 

Apparently she forwarded my name and number on to this Miss L person at the school board.

She tattled on me!

Miss L began by asking me if I was familiar with processes, rules and regulations of "applying to homeschool". I explained that I knew I would need to send a formal Letter of Intent to the local school and school board under which Liam was registered, but according to her that is merely the beginning. In addition to the Letter of Intent, we must also:

• fill out a detailed application form that will be submitted to the Quebec Board of Education
• chose a curriculum that has been approved by, and that meets all of the requirements of, the Minister of Education for Quebec OR submit our chosen curriculum for review and approval/rejection
• meet with someone from the school board to explain our reasons for homeschooling
• submit to periodic home visits or assessments by someone appointed by the school board
  
• arrange for Liam to be brought in each spring for testing and evaluation, and a review of his portfolio
• if our plan is to homeschool Liam in English, then we would be required to go into the English Language school (again, school 'C') to register him, then send our Letter of Intent to that school and their school board, and submit ourselves to their rules/regulations/policy regarding curriculum, approval, and evaluations
  

And if we do not submit to these rules and regulations? Miss L informed me that the school board would then call Child Protection Services.

Yeah.

Read that again.

They would call the same people you call for cases of abuse, abandonment, neglect, etc. FOR HOMESCHOOLING. Doesn't that seem more than a bit absurd? If nothing else, this bully of a lady with her thinly veiled threats, scare tactics, and her attempts to intimidate me into sending my child to public school would be enough to push me over the edge had we not already made our decision.

(In talking to some of our homeschooling friends (Did I mention that 6 out of 7 of our family friends homeschool?), it has become clear that the Government of Quebec is not too keen on homeschoolers. More accurately, the Ministry of Education is not keen on homeschoolers. And yet Quebec's education system is in crisis by all accounts. Did you know that Quebec has one of the highest drop out rates in Canada? Over the last decade, pressure has been mounting in Quebec for an overall review and reform of the publicly funded education system. The main concerns are the poor command of language (particularly written language) exhibited by graduates of the system, and the high drop-out rate -up to 40% for boys in some areas.)

What really bothers me is that this woman (and the educational system that she represents) seems to think it their right to educate my child. My child. Had we instead chosen to send Liam to either the local French school or the region's English language school, it would have still been our choice. NOT an obligation. CERTAINLY NOT a requirement governed by law. And yet they seem to equate "rules" and "regulations" and "policy" with laws. 

I'm not trying to get all worked up over this, but it completely boggles my mind.

Any person -educator, politician, policy-maker, even our family and friends, and my lovely blog readers *wink*- may disagree with our decision, but homeschooling is not only legal, but it is also protected under law. 

Real law.

is new always better?

Any thoughts on the new blog design? Those reading in a reader, click through and let me know what you think. I love the Flickr widget that shows some recent pictures. Neat cloud effect, eh? I'm also thinking it's about time for a new header image...

to homeschool or not to homeschool.... advice?

A bit of background for those of you new(ish) to this blog...

We moved from western Canada (Calgary) to French-speaking eastern Canada (Gatineau, QC) in May '08. That fall we registered Liam, then age 5, for kindergarten at our neighbourhood  french school, school 'A', but their kindergarten was full. At first, we were upset that he would be transferred to school 'B' in the next neighbourhood over, have to take the bus, not make friends who lived close by, etc, etc. After a bit of a rough start (it was a full French school and he couldn't speak a single word so he had a hard time making friends), he ended the year having done REALLY well.

Back in March of this year, we filled out the necessary paperwork for him to continue attending school 'B' this fall for grade 1. I didn't want to put him through another transition and have him make brand bew friends. We had been told that we likely wouldn't hear a definitive answer until August, and unfortunately I heard this Tuesday that he was denied (since they don't even have room for the kids in their zone). Also unfortunate is that in the last year I've heard several things about school 'A' that make me nervous about sending him there.

Now that continuing at school 'B' is not an option, we're left with the following choses:

• school 'A', a full French school but one that we have some serious reservations about
• school 'C', an English school that he'd have to take the bus to and from and would require him to be gone from around 7am to 3:30ish... over eight hours a day! 
• homeschooling

I won't lie. I reeeeeally want to homeschool. Peter, however, is DEAD SET AGAINST IT not thrilled with the idea. We've not talked about it for a few days now. I think we're both scared to start another fight. It's one of those situations that there's just no possible compromise. Either he gets what he wants or I get what I want. I don't see any way for us to both be happy.

I do understand his reservations, but would love to try for a year... it is after all "just" grade one. There's not a list as long as my arm of goals and required learning, it wouldn't take hours a day, etc, etc. It would be a good trial period that would allow us to revisit the decision at the end of the year, or even during the year.

The worst part of all this is the tension between Peter and I. Sure there are things we fight about, but finances and parenting are two areas where we generally agree. He has raised some good points and some of them are ones that concern me too:

• Liam wouldn't have the same daily companionship from a classroom full of friends
• the expense of homeschooling supplies, materials, curriculum, etc
• Liam will definitely not learn French at home as well as he would if surrounded by it for 8+ hours each day
• the lack of schedule and the unpredictability of life at home, especially with two other kids at home (ie. am I too disorganized to homeschool??)
• the negative effect on housework/cleaning/errands/groceries/laundry, etc (ie. I already have a hard enough time keeping the house clean)
• whether or not Liam would want to be homeschooled
• timing, as school is scheduled to start just over a week
  

As for that last point, in my defense, we only found out about our request being denied on Tuesday, so it's not like I've been purposely putting this off. Anticipating our disagreement over this issue, we were both content to assume he'd be attending school 'B' again this year. But I'm now really under the gun.

I'm feeling overwhelmed though. Where would we even start???

Not only in convincing Peter that this is something that I can do, but in looking for materials, curriculum, signing Liam up for extra activities, etc. I hate fighting with him about this and, when it comes down to it, my relationship with Peter is more important than where Liam goes to school.

I just hope we can somehow both be happy with our eventual decision.

(And by 'eventual', I mean the-decision-that-we-have-to-make-like-today.)

playing peacefully

This week's "You Capture" photo challenge over at I Should Be Folding Laundry is PEACE. For more Wordless Wednesdays, head over to 5 Minutes for Mom, 7 Clown Circus, and Wordless Wednesday.

I challenge you to...

...to 30 days of Green Goodness!

Jennifer of Happy Foody fame has launched the 2009 Green Smoothie Challenge. Those of you who have been reading my blog for more than a year (so, um, only my family and in-laws since my blog was private until early January '09) will remember my initial posts about green smoothies as I attempted to increase our raw food consumption AND sneak more veggies and greens into Simon's diet.

The whole green smoothie thing went from Peter rolling his eyes at me as I tried to convince Simon to "just try it", to Peter trying one AND LIKING IT, to Peter grumbling and whining if I don't make him one.

Every. Single. Morning.

We've come a long way! But although I've been making them for Peter, I haven't been that good about drinking them myself... especially after my *ahem* postpardum plumbing problems and consequent advice I received about it perhaps being an issue with all the spinach. I began to fear the spinach.

All I really needed was a kick in the pants a gentle nudge back in the Green Smoothie direction. If youre wondering what the heck I'm talking about, here is my inital post and here is one featuring a video of Jennifer making a green smoothing in her super blender (like a Vita-Mix... *swoon* Viiiiiiitttaaa-Miiiiixxxx).

Here are the details of this year's challenge (taken from Jennifer's Happy Foody blog):

We will begin on August 17 and end on September 17. Here is what you are committing to:

• Drink at least 16 oz. of green smoothie per day (a quart would be even better!)
• Do some sort of activity every day. This could be an intense workout, or just dancing with your kids around the living room. It could be a 15 minute yoga session or a walk around the block.
• Add a green leafy salad to your lunch or supper (with light dressing…stay away from the creamier sauces).
• Stop drinking pop.
• Cut out all white sugar.

I've got the smoothie part covered. The activity will be easy too. The salad with supper? Honestly, I'd rather have another smoothie! I don't drink my pop as it is (although I've been known to steal sips of Peter's most nights once in a while). The sugar... um... like the sugar in chocolate? And ice cream? And Swedish Berries?? Ouch. That one might hurt, but I know it'll be worth it.

So anyone want to join me? If you haven't tried a green smoothie before, trust me. You can't taste the spinach. They really are delicious. And so good for you. And delicious. LIKE CANDY. If you're looking for more information, recipes, and great testimonials extolling the benefits of green smoothies, head over to Happy Foody's Green Smoothie Challenge post.

And if you covet a Vita-Mix as much as I do -but likewise choke a bit at the $450+ price tag- head over to Jessie Hawkin's blog and enter to win one! I would burst into tears were I to win... that's how badly I want one. (sigh)

Where was I? Oh right, Green Smoothies... Anyone up for a challenge??

Friday Flashback

While reading through comments left here and visiting all of my visitors blogs, I came across this fun carnival hosted by Alicia at More Than Words. It's called "Friday Photo Flashback" and is meant to be a chance to share some of our pre-digital pictures.

Here's mine,

This picture was taken in Dec 2003, when Liam was just over 6 months old.

Look how little! Look how adorable! Gah, I can hardly stand the cuteness!

And just take in the fresh-faced youngness of Peter and I! We don't look near old enough to be parents. I love this picture even though it's kind of poor quality. This is a scan, but even the original is rough. We sat for this just before Peter's parents left Calgary for Egypt.

I was featured!

One of my pictures was features on I {heart} Faces today for their Fix-It Friday!

Before you get too excited and start throwing out "Congratulations!", know that Fix-It Fridays are for pictures that, while good in the sense of composition or lighting or some other element, have some clear and obvious flaws. The picture of mine that was chose was one of Simon that, like most pictures of Simon, needed some touching up because of his skin.

(When Simon has an allergic reaction to a given food, the most noticeable symptom is that the skin all around his mouth and chin first turns bright red, the dries up and peels off in big flaky pieces. No creamy, smooth toddler skin for him! The picture used over at I {heart} Faces is one that was taken not long after a pretty severe reaction. I think it might have been before we realized that he was allergic to soy (even though the allergist had said it was fine so we'd been giving him soy yogurt because of his dairy allergy). I'm glad I trusted my mother's intuition and cut soy out of his diet.

Mother's intuition 1, allergist 0. Okay, to be fair, I guess she did get a few right...)

If you're curious to see what the talented folks at I {heart} Faces did with this picture of Simon, check out this post. Being relatively new to post-processing, I'm blown away by how amazing some of them made his skin. Seriously blown away.

one starry night

The Perseids meteor shower was slated to peak this last Tuesday, August 11th, 2009. I originally heard about the meteor shower on Twitter earlier in the day (thanks, Twitter) and thought it might be something that Liam would enjoy. I mentioned it to him and was immediately greeted with "YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!".

Then I went online and found out it wasn't supposed to really peak until after midnight.

Oops.

I broke the news to him and was greeted with predictable moaning and gnashing of teeth. Even though I could feel Peter's eyes boring holes into the back of my head and could already hear his thoughts on me waking our six year old at midnight, I promised Liam that I would wake him up when it was time.

Before heading to bed around 11pm, however, I stepped outside onto our little front porch, looked up and saw... clouds. There would be no meteor shower for us.

Or so I thought.

Andrew woke to nurse as usual sometime after 1am. Being the amazing mom that I am (*snort*), I decided to drag myself out of bed and take another look outside. Although there was now a clear sky, the lights of the city (even a smallish city like Gatineau) drowned out any chance of seeing the meteors. I thought about just going back to bed, but instead snuck into the boys room and quietly roused Liam from his sleep.

He didn't wake up right away, but when he did, the first words out of his mouth were an excitedly whispered, "Is it time?"

Even though it was a lovely night, I grabbed a light blanket and wrapped him in it. We tiptoed down the hall to the front door -a door that squeaks loudly during the day but is absolutely deafening at night- and went to sit on the front steps.

Liam blinked the sleep from his eyes as he squinted at the light from a nearby streetlamp. I knew that he wouldn't see anything, but instructed him look up at the moon and stars that were visible. We sat huddled together on the steps, wrapped in a blanket, talking softly and looking at the stars for probably only fifteen minutes.

We didn't see a single meteor.

Neither of us cared.

it's hard to get a good picture of a six year old swinging

The first picture is my entry into i heart faces' "Funny, Silly Faces" photo challenge, and the second is for the "Pets" category (it's a bald eagle about to land). It is also my first time entering the "You Capture" photo challenge over at I Should Be Folding Laundry, where this week's challenge is MOTION. And finally, for more Wordless Wednesdays, head over to 5 Minutes for Mom and Wordless Wednesday.

From Mourning to Dancing: Part III

From Mourning to Dancing: Part II

August 31st, 2005

Many doctors appointments and ultrasounds later, minutes began to feel like hours and days like weeks. It all felt so surreal. Like a dream. Time stood still as it whizzed passed.

One of the ultrasounds was actually an echocardiogram, to take a closer look at the heart. Originally ordered after the initial u/s (the one showing a possible hole in the heart), it was canceled after the Trisomy 18 diagnosis. Canceled. Without checking with us. This was the first of what would be many instance of the medical community giving up on our son. Why probe further when the outcome will be the same? Why waste time and resources on a baby who is essentially already dead??

From the beginning it was clear that most doctors had very little -if any- experience with babies with Trisomy 18. What they knew, they had learned in textbooks. Textbooks that told them that these babies had NO CHANCE of life. Textbooks that instructed them to advise their patients to terminate. When most parents are faced with a list of defects as long as their arm (as we were) and the doctor -the PROFESSIONAL- sitting across from them is describing their baby in a way that makes them afraid to see it, many of them do choose to terminate, which leads to even fewer instances of real-life, practical experience with Trisomy 18.

We weren't prepared to give up that easily.

When I learned that the echocardiogram had been canceled, I called the office and made it clear that we wanted all of the tests available in order to be fully prepared for our son's birth. They agreed and rebooked for a few weeks later. The echo wasn't terribly useful in telling us anything we didn't already know (he had a small VSD (Ventrical Septal Defect), but it was not big enough to even require surgery in an otherwise healthy child), however it did afford us another chance to see our son and to meet with the perinatologist -as biased as he was against continuing with the pregnancy- and ask a few more questions.

Regarding the baby's heart defect and kidney problems, the doctor was clear that neither of those issues would be our son's cause of death. Neither were fatal. I remember sitting there looking at my hands in my lap and repeated asking, "Well what will he die of then?". The doctor, kind and calm but obviously slightly exasperated, kept going back to the Trisomy 18.

"He has Trisomy 18."

You see, most of the stories we had read were of babies who had complications in addition to and because of the Trisomy 18. Serious complications. They were missing organs, their esophagus wasn't connected to their stomach, they had spina bifida, their organs were growing in their umbilical cord... serious stuff. Stuff that, clearly, was fatal. You could easily see that a baby can't live with ___________ (fill in the blank with one of a plethora of problems).

But our baby, although measuring small, didn't have any of these serious complications. So why would he die? WHY??

"He has Trisomy 18. Trisomy 18 is incompatible with life. He will died from having Trisomy 18."

We struggled to wrap our heads around this. If everything worked, why was our baby going to die?

* * * * * * * * * *

Around this time, I also started to get big. And by big, I mean HUGE. According to the ultrasounds, I had 50% more amniotic fluid that was normal. This polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid) is common in pregnancies with T18 babies. Although our baby was barely in the 10th percentile, I was measuring 5 weeks ahead of where I should have been. While all the extra room was likely lovely for the baby, it made me very, VERY uncomfortable. At 29 weeks, I was almost as big as I was at full term with Liam. The polyhydramnios also put me at an increased risk for preterm labour and other possible complications, both before and during labour.

It also increased my anxiety. We worried it would affect our chances of seeing our boy alive.

* * * * * * * * * *

It was around this time that we also decided on a name for our unborn son. We chose his names based on their meanings. We chose Nathaniel for his first name, which means "God has given, or gift from God", and we chose the name hebrew name, Achaziah for his middle name, which means "God has taken".

Nathaniel Achaziah.

Job 1:21-22 says,

²¹He said,
"Naked I came from my mother's womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD."
²²Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.

Nathaniel's name was a reference to these verses. Together his name means "God has given and God has taken." Even though we didn't understand the how and whys of our present circumstance, we chose to recognize God's sovereignty in our lives and the life of our son. Our decision to carry Nathaniel to term was based on our belief that it is God only who has the right to decide when our son would die. Nathaniel was a gift from God. He knew how the story would end.

We didn't.

From Mourning to Dancing: Part IV

bits and bites

Tasty little morsels too small for their own blog post, but too good to forget...

* * * * * * * * * *

We were discussing getting a dog while having supper around the table. We were explaining to Liam that a dog would need to be walked EVERY DAY, even when it's hot, even when it's raining, even when it's cold and snowy.

He paused then asked, "Do dogs sleep all winter?"

Me - "Do you mean hibernate?"
Liam - "Yeah. Do dogs hibernate?"
Me - "No, they don't."
Liam - "Too bad."

* * * * * * * * * *

Although I'm slightly scare of tempting a backlash by the Universe, I'm going to risk it and hesitantly, hopefully state that Simon is...

Ready for it? Should I really be doing this?

...Simon is potty trained. There! I said it! It's out there and I can't take it back. Although he still wears a diaper at night, he's only had one accident in the last ten days. We don't even have to remind him anymore. He just goes on his own, sometimes telling us first, sometimes not.

Our recipe for success?

A 2.5lb bag of Swedish Berries.

One berry for pees, two for poops. Yeah, we're those parents. Some might call it bribery, I prefer to think of it as "positive reinforcement". The other thing that helped with motivation, was that each time Simon earned a treat, Liam earned one too. Guess who Simon's biggest encourager was? Guess who clapped and cheered the loudest when Simon has success? Can you guess? If you guessed his six year old, treat-loving older brother, you'd be right.

Cost of potty-training one 2 1/2 year old? $8.99 at Costco.

I'm actually pretty proud of myself.

(Except that I'm sure I've eaten about a pound of them myself. I have NO self-control.)

* * * * * * * * * *

I posted this video a few weeks ago, showing Andrew crawling at 6 1/2 months. I haven't mentioned yet that, a few days later, he started pulling himself up to standing... at the couch, at his excersaucer, on our legs, in his crib, even using only the knob on our cabinet doors.

Unfortunately, while able, he is definitely not stable. He falls often, usually hitting his chin on the way down or his head on the floor. He also has four teeth, so has had no fewer than six bloody lips in the last two weeks.

Given the bloody, swollen lips and the bumps and bruises on his head, we don't look like the greatest parents. Problem is, there's just no stopping him.

WE. ARE. IN. TROUBLE.

* * * * * * * * * *

After three brutal, tear-filled, sleep-less nights, I've decided to try cutting dairy out of my diet for Andrew's sake. Ugh, I hate this part of breastfeeding... the worry that things I'm eating might potentially be hurting my baby. He's over seven months, so some would say to just wean him, but I really do LOVE nursing my babies. A sacrifice on my part is worth it to be able to keep breastfeeding... even if that sacrifice means no milk, ice cream, cheese, ice cream, yogurt, ice cream, milk chocolate (I'll still let myself have a bit of the 75%+ dark stuff)... ice cream.

I really shouldn't lament the ice cream too much (I'm being dramatic) since I made some D.E.L.I.C.I.O.U.S. ice cream on the weekend out of coconut milk, honey, eggs, real vanilla bean and raspberries. I'll take pics next time I make it so I can share the recipe.

* * * * * * * * * *

I really have to do better about making a meal plan and shopping with some control a grocery list. After being SO focused on paying off our debt and SO determined to save every possible penny, we've gotten a bit lacks with our budget. Actually, I think it would be more appropriate to say that there's been a bit of a budgetary hemorrhage.

Once you starts, it can be hard to stop spending.

It's not like we've been out shopping and buying whatever tickles our fancy, but with my birthday, a few dinners out, grocery shopping without a clear plan and a list, needing to buy some work clothes for Peter, etc, it has DEFINITELY ADDED UP.

We really need to recommit to spending carefully, saving, and being good stewards of what we have.

(Especially if we decide to get a dog.)

Maybe I'll start by making a meal plan today.

doggone crazy?

We've been talking about getting a dog.

A dog.

Cause I don't have enough to do already.

Quit shaking your head at me, mom.

We have a few reasons for thinking this might not be too awful an idea:

• Liam LOVES dogs. Specifically dogs who play fetch and who will lay their heads on his lap and stare at him with big, adoring eyes while he pats head and scratches ear.s After spending a few hours at a dog-containing house, we hear about it FOR DAYS. "I wish we had a dooooooooog." "I miss _____________(insert name of dog - making sure to wail when you say it)!!!"
• We feel like a dog would be one more companion/friend/family member to help make each move an easier transition for our boys once we move overseas.
  
• A dog would force encourage us to be outside more and go for more walks.
• It would teach Liam a bit of responsibility (or are we kidding ourselves on this point??)
• It would be fun!

Here are the obstacles/cons/concerns (wait, does "con" = concern?? anyone know):

• The cost. The particular agency we're looking at charges $300, plus the cost of (mandatory) obedience classes.
• The cost of outfitting ourselves to have a dog (collar, leash, food bowls, brush, shampoo, toothbrush, toys, bed, crate/kennel, etc, etc, ETC), plus the monthly cost of food.
• The fact that when it's -30C, there's 6' (yes, SIX FEET!) of snow outside, and we haven't seen the sidewalks for MONTHS we might not be as committed to taking the dog for walks so that it doesn't destroy our house
• What happens if the dog turns out to not be a good match for our family? Will we stick it out or break Liam's heart (*see above) and get rid/surrender/re-home it?

Did I mention we're thinking of adopting a pit bull?

(sharp intake of breath on the part of my mom and mother-in-law)

There's a local organization called Bullies in Need that rescues pit bulls, pit bull mixes, and other dogs affected by Ontario's Bill 132. This bill is basically a ban on buying, selling, breeding or importing pit bulls (or any short-haired, muscular dogs that might resemble a pit bull) and some serious restrictions on what you can/can't do with them and where you can/can't go. There are also heavy fines and the threat of having you dog seized and destroyed.

Bullies in Need works primarily with animal shelters pulling beautiful and deserving dogs off of death row, looking for stable temperaments and animals showing no aggression towards humans, and finding them new loving homes, most of which have to be outside of Ontario because of the Bill. Their focus is dogs that are scheduled for euthanasia simple because they are pit bulls.

Luckily, we are outside of Ontario so we would be able to open our home to one.

Like this one,

Or this one,

Or this one,

Cute, eh?

So are we crazy??

are you one of the sixty-one?

Last night was a looong night.

I've been in denial for some time that Andrew might have some of the same food sensitivities as Simon, but last night confirmed it. I spent half of the night (until 3am) sleeping (ie. NOT SLEEPING) on the couch with a sweaty bundle of wriggling, writhing, crying-every-fifteen-minutes, hardly-letting-my-boob-out-of-his mouth, baby.

Somewhere around RIDICULOUS O'CLOCK 3am, I woke up (yes, woke up) and realized that I'd been sleeping (yes, sleeping), so I dragged myself up the stairs to bed. I laid Andrew in his crib and crawled into bed, trying not to wake Peter. At some point, Andrew must have started crying again because I woke up to find him in bed with us, although I have NO RECOLLECTION OF GETTING HIM from his crib.

His crying started back up around 6:30am and this time nothing worked. Not patting, rubbing, rocking, hushing, singing. Not laying him on his back, his stomach, my chest, my legs, or in my arms. His soother (pacifier for you Yankees) made him cry harder and even the all-mighty boob was rejected.

This morning I have a bit of a headache and a bit less patience than normal, but Andrew has been slept from 9am til almost 11:30am, and the parents of one of Liam's little girlfriends offered to come pick him up to play for the afternoon (bless them!) so I trust we'll all survive the day.

The one thing that buoyed my cranky self this morning was refreshing my blog and seeing that I now have 61 readers!* Squeee! I don't know who you all are, but THANK YOU! Dooce may have a million followers on Twitter, but I have all of you! So a big "Mwah" to you all!

(That's "mwah" like a kiss, not like an evil "mwahahaha". Don't want to risk any misunderstanding.)

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*By "readers", I'm talking about those who subscribe to my RSS feed. Those who do subscribe are like, "Yeah, that's me. Feeds are old news." Those who don't subscribe (hi, mom!) are like, "Huh? Subscrib-a what? Feed who??" My current subscribers can go back to their reader and carry on catching up on their other favorite blogs now. The rest of you, this next bit is for YOU (mom, you might want to get a paper and pen and take some notes).

So RSS stands for, among other things, Really Simple Syndication. In Oprah speak, RSS stands for Ready for Some Stories. Basically, it's a way for you get to get updates of all your favorite blogs or websites all in one place.

Say, for example, that you have a daughter and three daughters-in-law who all have blogs (*wink* hi, Craig and Mora!). With RSS, you can "subscribe" to each blog (or other websites) and get "fed" all the new posts in one list. Subscribing to RSS feeds will save you time by bringing all of those blogs together in one place -in your reader- and save you from having to visit each blog each day searching/hoping for new posts. This way you will instantly know which blogs have updates and which do not.

That one place where your RSS list is created is called an RSS Feed Reader, and it gathers all the headlines from all the websites and blogs you have subscribed to. The first thing you’ll want to do if you’re just getting into reading sites via RSS is to hook yourself up with an RSS Reader.

There are many feed readers going around with various approaches and features, however a good place to start is with one of the free and easy to use web based ones like Google Reader and Bloglines (I use Google Reader). If you currently use any of Google's other services (ie. Gmail or Blogger), then you already have access to Google Reader.

(To find out, go to www.google.com and look in the top right corner. If you see links for iGoogle, Sign In, then you'll need to sign in and/or register. If you see your email address, iGoogle, My Account and Sign Out, then you already have an account with Google.)

Both of these feed readers work a little like email. As you subscribe to feeds you’ll see that unread entries from the sites you’re tracking will be marked in bold. As you click on them you’ll see the latest update and can read it right there in the feed reader. You are given the option to click through to the actual site or move onto the next unread item, marking the last one as ‘read’.

For a quick tutorial on how to subscribe, here's a quick and visually informative video on subscribing to RSS feeds:

Internet: Useful Tips:
RSS In Plain English

So now that you know why and how to subscribe to your favorite blogs (*cough, cough* Like mine. *cough, cough*), hopefully I'll see my numbers numbers sky rocket. Or at least go up by -let's see... mom and my younger sister, older sister, father/mother-in-law, three sis/brother-in-laws, and a couple friends- six or seven?? Maybe?

I've been meaning to post this for a while now, mostly for the benefit of my family and extended family, especially since my lovely sister-in-law, Susanna, unleashed the monster and got me going on this whole blog thing.

(I'm still working on my own sisters...)