maybe it should be "52 weeks of pictures"...

Jan 17th
This sling is getting more comfy as I get more comfortable using it. I noticed the other day that it's almost the exact same colors as the new diaper bag I got (to tote around dipes for TWO now... my other bag, while awesome, wasn't big enough).

Jan 19th
Simon at his station. Waiting for the school bus to arrive and drop Liam off.

I don't love the postprocessing on this one yet, but it's hard to get a good picture with how bright it is outside. This picture really needs sound effects too... "Ee-am! EEEEEEE-am home!"

Jan 20th

The soother looks so huge!

Jan 23rd

My first successful back carry with Andrew. He stayed like this while Simon and I peeled the wallpaper border off the spare room. Bye-bye, Brats dolls!

Jan 26th

Liam drew this picture for Simon, and Simon cherishes it. He brings me over to the fridge several times a day (hour) to show it to me. I'm annoyed with how yellow/orange this looks, but it was late so I had to use flash and the pine table/orange marker don't help. Oh well.

Jan 27th

Mmmm, quinoa salad. This has quinoa (obviously), red onion, black olives, cherry tomatoes, cuccumber, feta cheese, chick peas, shredded carrot and lots of mini napa cabage. YUM.

So I missed a few days in there. Sorry. Either my life isn't that exciting or picture worthy, or I'm tired of having to use a flash and don't have the money for a new lense, or I'm lazy. OR ALL THREE.

Don't kick me out of the club, yo. I'll step up.

playing catch up

Over at the Babywearer, several members are doing a 365 days of pictures challenge, the premiss being to take and upload a picture each day of the year. The goal -or one of them- being to familiarize yourself more with your camera and become a better photographer. Since I'm the first to admit that my photography skills are somewhat lacking (even though I have a decent DSLR -minus all the fancy and $$ lenses I want), I thought I'd participate.

But wait, you say, it's already the 20th of January! Yeah, thanks, I'm aware of that... I JUST HAD A BABY so cut me some slack.

I might start a seperate blog for all these pictures, but for now here's my first, very overdue and very picture heavy, "365 days of pictures" entry:

January 1st
My mom and I took the boys to the Children's Museum for the first time. They LOVED IT. I love that it's free each Thursday afternoon...

January 3rd

I've already posted so many pictures from the day Andrew was born, so here's one from Heather's camera (my second pic and cheating already!).

January 4th
I love Peter's dear-in-the-headlights look here!
January 5th
My first time wrapping Andrew in a proper long wrap (a Hot Mama hemp jersey, if anyone cares to know). I think I kinda look like the victim of a bad spray tan job, but am too lazy to fix it right now.

January 7th

Snuggled up in a vintage blue and white indio shorty. Look how tiny!

January 8th

January 9th

While my mom stayed home with Simon, Liam and I took Andrew in to meet his class. Liam was so proud to sit at the front, holding his new little brother. His friends had a chance to ask questions, see his umbilical cord stump ("ewww"), and then got the chance to hold him. I imagined all the little girls being super excited to see and hold a six day old baby, but the boys were way more into it.

January 11th

A staring contest with grandma.

January 12th

Grandma hasn't forgotten how to play cars.

January 13th

This is a quilt that my mom and I made for Lynette out of a bunch of my dad's flannel shirts... he had a bit of a plaid problem. The backing is big squares from some of his (many) favorite sweatshirts. While likely not heirloom quality, I love how each of the squares reminds me of dad.

January 14th

Peter getting in on the babywearing action. I didn't even have to threaten/beg/trick him into it. IT WAS HIS IDEA.

January 15th

This lovely double linen ring sling was lent to me by a Babywearer member from Hawaii. I'm glad I didn't give up and admit defeat when thoroughly frustrated by the gathered shoulder. Now that I've gotten the hang of it, it really is quite comfy (and the colors go with 90% of my clothes!).

January 16th

Think I should lighten this some more?

I still have to upload the ones from the last few days, so will work on that tonight. I realize that none of these are photographic masterpieces, but at least I'm using my camera more. And come December 2009, this should be a fun record of our year. Hope you all enjoy it too.

awwww

A picture from late last night. Andrew decided to be awake til 1am, so we hung out on the couch until he was ready to sleep.

introducing...

***warning*** do not read any further if you're hoping for/needing to read an endorsement of natural childbirth (said only very slightly tongue-in-cheek)

I'm having a hard time remembering what day it even is... okay, Sunday afternoon...

Last Wed (Jan 31st) at my midwife appointment, I was told I was 2-3cm dilated with a very soft cervix and given the names of two homeopathic remedies to take that might help start labour (the homeopathic versions of black and blue cohosh). An afternoon-long hunt to actually find these ended in them just being given to us (!), because they'd already been opened and a few granules take out. While they did seem to bring on a few contractions, nothing lasted. Thurs night I had hours of Braxton Hicks, but no labour even with a repeat of the homeopathics.

Friday evening, standing at the stove, I felt a few drops and rushed to the bathroom thinking I was once again being let down my weakened pelvic floor. I thought there might be a chance that it was my water breaking... however if it was, it was VERY underwhelming.

My midwife stopped by that night to confirm that it was in fact amniotic fluid, examine me, and do an uncomfortably thorough membrane sweep. She also gave me some more homeopathics and left instructions for a castor oil smoothie if I really wanted to get things going. I was 3-4cms dilated and about 20% effaced that night. I took the homeopathics, which unfortuanately did very little, but decided to wait until morning for the castor oil.

Saturday morning, after a delicious banana/orange/raspberry/castor oil smoothie, and a call to my midwife to arrange to meet at the birth center around 10am, I laid down to try to rest. Well... the castor oil had other plans. So not wanting to stray far from the facilities, I decided to make sure everything I'd need/want was in my bag, the camera memory card was empty, batteries charged, etc.

We met the midwife at the birth center and, at around 10:30am, started a "natural induction" using the breast pump - 5mins on, then 5mins of walking, repeat. It made my toes curl, but it seemed to work. The midwife also offered a tincture of black cohosh (I couldn't have the blue cohosh tincture because it was a VBAC), which I wouldn'tve have taken on my own, but felt comfortable taking with her present. Right from the get go, my contractions were 1.5-2mins apart and lasting 45-60sec. So not much rest between. At that point though, they weren't too intense.

Things really picked up around noon. That's when the midwife said my real labor seemed to start (apparently the previous hour was just for kicks!). Even though the contractions were getting stronger, I thought I was doing really well at managing the pain... although I was anxious to get into the tub! Midwife checked me while the tub was filling up, AND I WAS STILL AT 4 CENTIMETERS. That was seriously discouraging. I was more effaced -like 90%- but I felt like all those contractions (remember they were almost all less than 1.5mins apart) should have produced more progress.

I got in the tub just before 3pm. It did feel nice. It didn't make the pain go away, but I seemed to be able to relax and focus better. The midwife checked me again and I WAS STILL AT 4CMS at which point I began to question whether or not I could do this. My midwife was great though (as was Peter, but what does he know? HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A UTERUS) and stressed that I really had to relax because I was fighting the contractions too much. With that challenge, I managed to go from 4-7cms in the next three contractions. 

7cms. We had progress.

But then it really, REALLY started to hurt. 

Yeah, I know labour hurts, but remember that I had epidurals for my last three births! When I really started to vocalize, the midwife checked me again and -get ready for this- I WAS BACK TO 5 CMS!

At that lovely news, I totally lost it.

Started crying. Saying I couldn't do it. Praising the invention of the epidural. Begging my midwife to forgive me for being such a wimp, and inwardly totally freaking out at the fact that I could see no way out of the MOST AWFUL, PAINFUL SITUATION OF MY WHOLE LIFE.

After only 15 mins in the tub, I somehow managed to get my heaving, moaning, bawling mass of contractions onto the bed. I landed there on all fours and that's how I stayed. I think I started pushing when I was only 9cms, more out of UTTER DESPERATION to have it all over than that actual urge to push. IT WAS THE ONLY POSSIBLE WAY OUT I COULD SEE.

So I pushed.

The midwife kept saying that he was "right there", but I would respond (sobbing), "No... he's... not! I can tell! He's... not... there... at alllllll!" So after what seemed like the most excruciatingly pain-filled, hellish, never-ending eternity OF MY LIFE -but what I've been told was in reality ONLY 12 MINUTES- Andrew Russell Faer Bundy made his slippery entry into this world.

It was not the quiet, peaceful, calm entrance I had imagined for by sweet boy. The poor couple down the hall probably thought I was dying -AS DID I. Although I don't remember everything that came out of my mouth in those long, LONG twelve minutes, I do remember screaming, "BABY, GET OUT!" several times.

And out he got. THANK GOD.

One of the first things I said after I was finally laying down with him was, "THAT. SUCKED." In all seriousness, WHAT WAS I THINKING?

I don't think I was unprepared for the pain, but more for my ability to manage it. Or maybe my ability to handle the disappointments and set backs of labor... not being able to do something well that I'd planned to do well. Whatever it was, I think it'll take a few years before I'm willing to ever consider doing this again!

However the end result is definitely worth it!

(Sorry to all the men in my life who were perhaps unprepared for that picture, but cmon, you can't see anything.)

Andrew was 8lbs (but was weighed AFTER unloading several ounces of lovely meconium poo on Peter's bare chest) and 19.3" long. In the end it was 3 hours of labor on land, 15 minutes in the tub and 12 minues of pushing. My placenta took 12 minutes to deliver (likely cause I was just too tired to push any more), during which time Andrew stayed attached.

We left the birth center when he was about four hours old.

The boys were so excited to have us home and to meet their new brother. Simon constantly wants "my turn" to hold baby and Liam thinks that Andrew is "the BEST present".

My midwife did an awesome job of stitching me up, even fixing a botched job from Simon's birth. It took most of an hour, but she was super pleased with her handiwork. And for all the stitching she did to piece me back together, I feel pretty great.

And am SO GLAD HE'S OUT!

40 weeks 2 days

Thursday night (the night of my due date) I was actually having some pretty good, regular contractions, but by 11pm they'd all but stopped. I was disappointed to say the least.

That morning around 4am, Liam came into our room saying he couldn't sleep. This hardly ever happens anymore. I told him it was hours and hours before he was allowed to get up and that he'd have to go back to bed. Instead, he wanted to sleep with us. I let him, since he won't get the chance to snuggle with us by himself much anymore.

So there he slept -LIKE A LOG- until after 7:30am. For a boy who's normally awake by 6am, this is nothing short of a miracle. It was so sweet to be able to lay there with my big five year old boy and rub his back, smell his hair, listen to him breathe... all things I would've missed if my labor had progressed that night.

It gave me some perspective.

So yesterday I was ready to be patient and trust that this little one knows when he needs to be born and that He knows when the timing will be perfect.

My mom and I went out to run some errands yesterday and to try to get some walking in. Although we were out (and I was on my feet) for over three hours, I was having nary a contraction. Then when I was standing at the stove getting supper ready, I thought I felt something... maybe my water breaking??

I ran to the bathroom, where I sat confused. If my water HAD just broken, it was terribly under-whelming. I called my midwife, who said she had another mom and new baby to visit and would then swing by to test if it was actually amniotic fluid or not and to do an exam. In the hour and a half before she got there though, it became clear that it HAD been my water breaking... every time I bent over, more would leak out... like rolling up a tube of toothpaste!

When she got here, she confirmed what I already knew, did an exam (I was 3-4cm and significantly effaced, but babe was still pretty high) and another membrane sweep (Can I stress how unpleasant those are?? And she's THOROUGH. Ouch.) She left me more homeopathy and instructions to take 50mls of castor oil if I really wanted to get things going.

The homeopathy didn't seem to do much this time. I didn't sleep much last night cause I was too excited and kept waiting to see if anything was happening. I did have a few good, strong, somewhat painful contractions during the night but never more than one or two at a time.

So here I sit, finishing the last bit of my banana/orange/raspberry/castor oil smoothie (I can hear you all licking your lips) and hoping that it'll do the trick. I wasn't planning on taking castor oil, but once your water breaks they only give you 24 hours to go into labour before I'd have to transfer from my midwife to the hospital - which I don't want.

Bottoms up.

still gestating

January 1st... My due date. NO BABY YET.